So I recently stumbled upon THIS blog here on Tumblr and, honest to goodness, it brought me to tears because
Being skinny is not all that it's cracked up to be. It just is not.
I know I sound like a broken record saying that, but it needs to be said. We live in a society where no one, I repeat NO ONE is safe from feeling insecure about their bodies.
I don't care that society is telling us that we all have to skinny to be perfect and beautiful, skinny girls do get shit too. I know because I have been a skinny girl my entire life and have gotten nothing but crap and annoyance from it.
Let's take for instance this double standard that is imposed upon me all of the time:
I am not very comfortable in my own skin so I usually cover up as much of it as I possibly can. This isn't a problem in the winter when people think my striped sweaters are cute, but come summer time, I constantly have to hear people say "why are you wearing those jeans?" or "why are you wearing that one piece; why don't you show off your body?"
I don't like being ogled by strangers is the answer to all of those above questions, but in order to stop the nagging and complaining I will dutifully put on a tank and shorts or break out my bikini and from the same people that bitched and moaned at me for covering up my body I will hear this in various incarnations: "You skinny bitch."
Not that I wake up every morning trying to make other people happy but is there no pleasing you? If I wear too many clothes, you complain. If I wear fewer clothes like you asked you complain. What do you want from me? And the answer is obvious. You don't want the way that I wear my clothes to be different, you want me to be different.
But do you know what else I want? I want you to be different too.
I want you to stop telling me to "eat a cheeseburger." I want you to to stop telling me that I'm skinny and have nothing to complain about. I want you to stop telling me that I need to gain weight. I want you to stop asking me if I ever eat. I want you to you stop saying "I wish I had your body." I want you to stop asking me "how I stay so thin." I want you to stop asking me how much I weigh. Stop telling me I should eat more. Stop saying that I look anorexic. Don't tell me that a gentle breeze could blow me away, or even worse, grabbing me when there's a breeze and saying "I didn't want you to fly away." Don't say "I wish I could give you some of my fat." Don't comment on what I eat or question if I eat at all. Don't say that "real women" are curvy, because there is nary a curve to be found on my body, but damn it, I know I'm a real woman. Stop telling me that I'm skinny when I'm obviously quite aware of it already.
Why is it okay to come down on skinny girls like we don't have feelings, but if you're overweight it is downright offensive to point it out?
Oh, right: It's not okay for anyone to come down on anyone else for the way that they look (or for any other reason, but that's another blog).
There are no two people on this planet who are alike. We are built differently because of genetics and diet and because of other things I'm sure, and yes, our society is currently in favor of the skinny girl just like some people can't help being overweight, some people can't help being thin either.
I don't wake up every day doing cartwheels thankful that I'm the size that I am. Not even a little bit. Like it or not, skinny girls have problems too. Here are just a few of mine:
I'd like to be able to get sick without worrying that I'm going to drop under 100 pounds. I'd like to go out to dinner one day and be able to finish a whole plate of food. I'd like to be able to drink a normal cup of coffee without getting the shakes. I'd like to be able to enjoy 60 degree weather instead of feeling like I'm going to freeze to death. I want to be able to accidentally bump into things without having to check for bruises afterward. I want to sit on a wooden chair without being able to feel every single bone in my buttocks. I want to be able to wear pants without the aid of a belt. I want to be able to find belts for people my size. I want to be able to finds clothes that make me feel good--not like I'm swimming in fabric or that are too tight. I want to be able to donate blood. I want to feel safe riding a roller coaster. I want to wear my little black dress without feeling two-dimensional. I don't want to feel fragile anymore. I want to be able to put on my bikini and be seen as "confident" like all the other girls instead of being seen as "conceited."
I could go on and on and on about why I wish I weren't skinny and why I wish I was curvy or at least weighed more, but I will spare you.
The point I am trying to make (which you will find in bold above, but I will reiterate here again because it needs to be repeated) is that everyone has feelings. Everyone has insecurities. We are all different. And because we are all different all of our insecurities will probably be different, but since we all have feelings they can be hurt. It does not matter whether someone is skinny, overweight, or somewhere in the middle don't call them on it. Don't call someone "fatty," don't tell someone to "eat a cheeseburger." Don't make jokes at the expense of other people and don't be fooled into thinking that just because someone meets the ideal of what you think would make you happy and carefree that they haven't got a care in the world.
And seriously, stop telling me to eat a cheeseburger because there is nothing that people can say about my size that will enrage me more. It stirs up feeling of wanting to inflict physical violence onto the person that says it to me.
So just don't do it.
Fare thee well,
April x
