Your Piss Poor Attitude

Greetings!

Sassy Gay Friend said it best: "There is something rotten in Denmark, and it's his piss poor attitude."

In this case Denmark is where ever you are, but that piss poor attitude is the same everywhere.

I wake up cranky and irritated every morning just like most of my fellow Americans, but I don't wake up ready to stab out the hearts of anyone that gets in my way and too often too many people wake up this way.

I'm sorry you have very interrupted sleep for whatever reason but look on the bright side: In Africa their sleep is interrupted because they have to listen to the sound of their fellow villagers being mauled to death by lions. OR they have to wake up to discovering that their baby has been eaten alive by the siafu - fucking ants eating babies!

Now, I don't know about you but last I checked ants don't eat babies in these United States. Maybe you get fire ants sometimes or whatever but if there are fire ants attacking your baby then A) you shouldn't leave your baby outside or B) You shouldn't have ignored the fact that the ants were getting into your house in the first place.

And if a lion eats one of your villagers then you should've convinced them not to climb into the lion enclosure at the zoo.

Siafu and lions aside, the point I'm trying to make here is that it isn't all bad.

If you wake up every morning feeling like everyone is out to get you and shit always hits the fan with you and that your life is so freaking miserable that you have to scream and shout and yell and rant about it to the rest of the world when in reality your problems are minute and insignificant you need to get over your PISS POOR ATTITUDE.

Your life is not that hard. You live in a house. You eat food every day. You have CLEAN water. You have health care even if you can't pay for it. You can read whatever you want. You can watch whatever you want on TV. You can shout from the rooftops that you hate the government and no one can arrest you.

And there are people who can't do ANY of those things and don't have any of those things.

And it's not as if I wake up every morning going "at least I don't live in a third world country!" I wake up with stomach aches and headaches and my feet are cold and I want to throw up and I didn't write enough last night and that lawnmower outside is too loud and there are always planes flying overhead and if that dog farts one more time I'm going to choke slam it and why is my dresser so cluttered and why did he just leave that lying around?

AND THEN I think "shit could be worse. A lion cold be mauling my brother right now." I don't think EXACTLY that way. It's more along the lines - If I eat my head and my stomach will feel better. If I put on socks my feet will be warm. If I kick the dog out he doesn't have to pollute my air. Turn on the TV and tune out the planes and lawnmower. If I put these things on the dresser away it won't be cluttered and I can just pick this stupid thing he left lying around off the floor and not waste my precious energy bitching about it.

And then all of my petty little issues are gone and I can start feeling better.

What I can't fix is everyone else's attitude toward life and that's what upsets me. I wish people made lemonade with lemons instead of squirting the juice into their eyes. I wish they were at least happy they had lemons when some people don't get lemons at all.

I can be happy even when things aren't going my way. It's hard but I do it and I wish other people could do it too instead of spewing their negativity all over everyone else.

'Til further notice I'm in between. From where I'm standing my grass is green.


Fare Thee Well,
April

Do Society A Favor and Get A Life

Greetings!

On any given day I wake up feelings crappy. I can't help it. Waking up is horrible for me but as the day progresses I usually feel better and happy and even excited about life. There are so many great things you can do with life.

You can smell fresh cut grass or eat bacon or read a book! You can feel the warmth of the sunshine against your skin or the cool breeze run through your hair.

All these wonderful things about life usually makes me feel so good that when people are rude or assholes or just acting without common sense that I can ignore it and let them carry on.

Now, I know I'm not perfect. I'm far from it. I try to learn something new everyday and I always succeed. And I try my damndest to be kind to everyone and I'm pretty sure I do that too.

So why, universe, do you keep sending assholes my way? Why must they impose their meanness on my happy go lucky way of life?

Here's the deal.

As I've said many times before I write fan fiction as a hobby and it's fun and cute and fluffy. It's not supposed to be one of those fics that people leave reviews saying "Incredibly well written! More like art than fiction."

No. Not me.

I get reviews saying things like this:

R.I.P.

RebelAngel15

Died a rather unfortanute(sp?) death, on account of dying of laughter from

reading Chapter 9: Sibling Rivalry from the story Fifth Year Kix Grass by

KairiGokuJr.

May she rest in peace.

Amen

An actual review. Which is obviously more entertaining than one that would talk about my masterful writing skills and I like it that way. Fanfiction is fun for me! It's one of those things about life that I cherish.

But, assholes, let me tell you, they pop up every once in a while and they piss me off. Suddenly they send a rain cloud of snarkiness and douche baggery my way. here's a review I got nearly an hour ago.

Interesting concept, but the writing is atrocious. You have dangling modifiers

and inverted sentences that sound absolutely ludicrous. You have no setting

for your story, and your grammar and mechanics need revision under a sharp

eye.

This story is at best, forgettable.

What I wanted to tell her was:

Go fuck yourself. Nigga out.

But that's not the kind of person I am. the kind of person I am  said something like this:

You take your life and my fan fiction too seriously. I'm glad you're not reading it. Please go fuck yourself.

Again, I left out the F-bomb. I said a lot more. But the basic gist of it was just like I told you: Fan fiction is supposed to be fun! We're not supposed to get it looked at like we're trying to win a Pulitzer Prize or something. It's a way to broaden our imagination, bring them to life, share the ideas in our head with other people.

If you're going around putting everything in fan fiction under a microscope instead of just enjoying it for what it is then.... Then... Then "I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries", as the French Taunter would say.

Basically, this girl told me what I already knew: that I wrote a shitty fan fiction when I was 14 and it needed lots of improvement.

Thank you Captain Obvious, leader of the douche bag brigade who read one chapter of my story and then condemned it to death. I wonder how much time you wasted writing the artsy and constructive review when that brain power could've been put to good use positively instead of pissing people off. And I'm sure she knows what great fan fiction looks like because she reads Twilight - which is pretty much the greatest fan fiction ever written [While I was being sarcastic about her knowing what great fan fiction looks like I genuinely believe that Twilight is the greatest fan fiction ever written. No joke].

Anyway, I want to write a book review now and then go read a book and write some stuff.

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?


Fare Thee Well,
April

The History Channel Makes me Think Too Much

Greetings!

I sit here watching the History Channel because I will watch ANYTHING on the History Channel and there's an interesting special on - I believe it's about the American Nazi Party *rolls eyes* - that I've seen before.

The interesting thing that it addresses is the first amendment, my favorite amendment, freedom of speech.

Being thrilled to live in a country where I can say whatever the fuck I want and not be sent to jail for it I always wonder if there's a line when see shows like this.

We're allowed to protest. We're allowed to say whatever we want. However, should you allow the American Nazi Party *rolls eyes* to hold a protest/march/whatever in the most densely Jewish population in the country? The law says they're allowed to but, really? Really?

And there's the line.

I mean, I don't support Nazis but I also don't support squashing the first amendment. I mean I'd hate to let a group of dumbasses run around being ignorant but even dumbasses have the right to say the stupid ignorant things they want.

BUT SHOULD YOU LET THEM?

That is the question. Obviously you should but it's so not okay.

I mean, they're using the first amendment to propagate hatred and ignorance and I know in my heart of hearts that a country founded on the belief that all men are created equal [even though the constitution once said that my African American brethren only counted as 1/3  of a person...] did not write the first amendment so that it could be used to hurt other people.

They wrote it for the very opposite reason! They came from a country where if they said anything that irritated  anyone they could go to jail! They wanted to be able to speak their minds without superiors throwing sand in their eyes.

So why use it to go around kicking people in the face. The very fact that the Neo Nazis exist makes me want to kick them in the face but then to use our beloved constitution to try to bring people down make me want to go all crazy Gohan against Cell on them.

Still, even if I believe that they're ignorant dumbasses they do reserve the right to be that way, don't they?

I'm getting myself all confused and irritated so I'll just leave it at that.

Fare thee well,
April

The Harry Potter Alliance For The Win

Greetings!

Uhm, hello! The Harry Potter Alliance just won $250,000 to help increase literacy and improve LGBT rights!

Are you listening? Two hundred fifty thousand dollars to decrease world suck in the name of Harry Potter.

Harry Freaking Potter! Potter! Potter! Potter! Potter! Potter!

Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!

But seriously, this is the most amazing thing to happen pretty much ever. I didn't really get into the work that the HPA was doing until last year, but I've always known about them and have felt really inspired by it because of why it was doing what it was doing.

When I met Andrew Slack and he talked about the Harry Potter Alliance and all of the things that they did I was genuinely moved for the first time in my entire life. I'd always been supportive of other charities and I always did what I could for them because it was right and good, but here was a charity that was doing things that were great all in the name of Harry Potter. Being a Dumbledore's Army for the real world. Fantastic.

Then there was the disaster in Haiti. By then I'd already been regularly listening in on the DA meetings and being more active and when this happened I emptied out my bank account of the $30 I had left because I had to do SOMETHING.

When I learned that they raised over $123,000 from a bunch of book nerds and YouTubers and whoever else - my mind was blown.

Harry Potter did that? Yes it did.

So, then this Chase Community Giving thing popped up and I just knew that if there was ever a charity that deserved $250k, it was the HPA.

So, I spammed celebrities, twitter friends, IRL friends and even put it into my fan fiction to get the word out. And then when I found out what they were using the money for - LGBT & Literacy - two things I've always been super passionate about, it kicked me into even higher gear.

Last night when voting ended, I sat anxiously waiting for them to say something, anything to let us know what happened. For them to say "We'll know in the morning" was just too long of a wait and I was sure that I would have an anxiety attack in my sleep, die and then never be able to find out.

But I woke up this morning and twitter was celebrating a victory. And then, when it became official I couldn't help but blast Harry and the Potter's "The Weapon" while also dancing and wiping away tears from my eyes. Do people really get teary eyed over charities? Is that supposed to happen?

But of course it is! When people get their just desserts and then use those just desserts to help other people you're supposed to be happy. You're supposed to be happy. And because this charity is so close to my heart and my soul tears are totally appropriate.

I am so proud to be a part of this fandom. I am so proud to be a part of something that uses it's massive influence to do something good. Not to just talk about doing good, but getting up every morning and finding ways to kick world suck's ass in the most fantastic mind blowing ways - in the name of a few books.

And if that makes me a weirdo or a loser or whatever then so be it.

I'm a loser who's a part of something amazing that does for other people.

I think that makes me awesome.

DFTBA,
April

Weight A Minute

Greetings!

A few days ago I came to the realization (well discovered via Helping Haiti Heal Livestream) that Harry Potter was not a horcrux, technically anyway.


But, as I tried to uncover the truth I went to J. K. Rowling's website and tried to see if she had explained it somewhere on her website.


I did not find the answer to my question. I did however find something much more fulfilling and I wouldn't have expected any less from a woman who is so legitimately amazing.


Under her "miscellaneous" section she had a note titled "For Girls Only, Probably...". And I thought to myself "Hey, I'm a girl!" so I clicked it and read over what she had written. What it was was a very detailed rant about the subject of weight, people's perception of size and how utterly stupid the whole thing was.


Usually, I avoid the subject of weight whenever possible usually for the exact opposite reason that other people do.


I'm small. Little. Skinny. I always have been. And while a lot of girls in school got made fun of for being "fat", I was constantly getting made fun of for being skinny.


If I had a dollar for every time that someone in middle school told me I had an eating disorder I would be rolling in dough. It always hurt my feelings because I never had an eating disorder. I was just small.


But it always got to me. Even being 19 years old, there are still days when I look in the mirror and I don't like my body and to other people that sounds crazy! Do models not spend thousands and thousands of dollars on surgeries and personal trainers so they can get down to a size 2 or 3. I would kill to be a 5!


Being thin isn't all it's cracked up to be. There are days, as I said before, when I hate it. I have horrible, horrible joint pain and back pain because I get so cold - even now when it's seventy degrees outside, that my whole body tenses up and won't relax. Sometimes I'll accidentally whack my bones together and it hurts. I don't feel safe on roller coasters because I slide all over the seats.


And it's not as if I haven't tried to gain weight! I try all the time, yet sadly in all my 19 years of life I have only ever managed to weigh 112 at the most - and that was in 11th grade.


I can suck down as much ramen and bacon as I want to and it will not stick. And I can't eat large meals. I have to eat small meals constantly because I can't eat a lot of food.


After middle school, when I got into high school, everything changed. No longer was I being made fun of being little people were like "Whoa! How do you stay so thin?" and I don't have an answer except that the universe hates me.


I don't get why girls who look like me are held to a higher standard of beauty and it's such a big deal and it shouldn't be.


Girls like me don't look real! The only reason I look real is because people are bemused by me when they see me eating a plate of bacon and reading Harry Potter (which I'd never do in real life because I wouldn't want to get grease on the pages. I don't eat and read).


And then on Monday, after I finished watching my guilty pleasure, Secret Life, a new show called Huge came on.  I was kind of worried about how I was going to take the show because I find the very idea of sending a child off to "fat camp" to be awful, like, can you imagine a worse way to make a kid feel bad about themselves?


Anyway, the main character is a rebellious girl with purple streaks in her hair named Willemenia (she goes by "Will" because she's a rebel). Now, I like Will because A) she's not ashamed of herself and her body. But then there's the fact that she sneaks food into the camp and is basically fighting the camp and everything they stand for because she doesn't want to lose weight for the sake of being a rebel rather than because that's just what she wants.


Not everyone in the camp is there against their will and that's what bothers me the most about Will. By selling the food there she is sabotaging the people that are there to lose weight and to be healthier and that's holding them back which isn't fair. It's okay that she's proud of herself and set in her ways and what not, but it's not fair to bring down people who don't feel that way.


Everyone should be allowed to feel happy and feel comfortable and healthy despite what other people say.


This is what I wish:


In Dragon Ball, when Goku first meets Bulma she's the first human contact he's ever had outside of his grandpa so Goku has no perception of male and female or ugly or pretty. Goku is so cut off from all of that he instinctively only judges people by the way they treat other people and when I saw that for the first time I thought that was wonderful and amazing.


There a lot of things I wish we could do like Goku - the whole Saiyan thing in general being one, but loving everyone unconditionally and seeing people for who they are on the inside without forgetting that everyone, even the evil king Piccolo, has some good in them is what I really want (and, it helps that it's more practical).


You shouldn't have to struggle with your size because other people don't like the way you look. You should be happy to be in your own skin, you should feel healthy and no one should try to tell you otherwise.


I don't feel healthy in my body no matter how envious of it people are. When I was in 9th grade and broke 100 pounds, that was one of the happiest days of my life. The day that I manage to break 110 again, I will no doubt eat a celebratory plate of pirogies and bacon (because that's what I do) and strive to be 120. And then, maybe, my clothes won't sag and maybe I can hug people without my bones hurting me and maybe I won't freeze to death when the temperature drops to a brisk 75 degrees. Maybe they will actually make belts in my size! And personally, I think I'd look rather nice being curvy rather than skinny.


Remember Mariah Carey when she was skinny? Look at her now. I can only see this endeavor as a good thing.


Fare thee well,
April