Road Trip Wednesday: Beating Writer's Block

Greetings!

Writer's Block is my mortal enemy, but at the same time I bow to it.

I'll get to a scene where everything is going smoothly and suddenly, I'll hit a wall. Usually I sit there impatiently, trying to think of something--anything to write down. After about two hours I'll know that I'm suffering from a case of Writer's Block.

I used to get really down when I got Writer's Block. I imagined that anyone who'd actually sat down and written a book didn't suffer from it. Of course, I've now learned that ALL writer's suffer from it and that we all love to procrastinate as well.

But when we've gotten bored of playing Robot Unicorn and Tertris online, and when our tweets start to turn into nothing but reiterating "I'm bored" in new and fancy ways over and over again, we have to get back to writing, and Writer's Block will still be there.

As I said before, it used to get me really down because I couldn't think of anything to write. But now I've realized, that's not true at all. I always have something in mind to write about. But the way my brain works is that I have to write everything in sequential order lest everything be thrown out of control.

I have learned to completely ignore my desire for order. The rest of my life runs on controlled chaos and it's worked great for me for the past 20 years. Why not just, apply it to my writing as well and then pull it all together like I do with the rest of my life?

This is probably the most brilliant thing I've ever done, which isn't saying much, but it pulls me out of my writer's block which is awesome. I simply skip ahead. What do I know I want to write about? What do I know is going to happen? What I can I write right now that is going to help me?

And I write that instead. Usually, after I've done that I've been able to think of what's going to happen before what I'd just written and then the block is gone.

It doesn't always work. Sometimes it just leads to more Writer's Block which will then lead to me over indulging in Oreos and Harry Potter fanfiction and, eventually, sleep. When my block is this severe I know that it's time to get up and walk away and do something productive. Most writers I know cringe at the thought of being productive, but eventually we have to put on pants and get some laundry done or do some dishes. Sometimes, Writer's Block is nothing more than your brain needing a break. And while our body's only impulse is to write until our we've rubbed off the letters from our keyboards, sometimes our brain says to us "look, Crazy Person, I'm not going to help you advance the plot until you make stop looking at this computer screen for a while."

The last technique I've developed for writer's block is eliminating distraction completely. This doesn't mean turning off my TV and getting off Twitter for a few hours, I have to leave my computer for a while, break out my purple binder and hand write my work. This, out of everything else, is what has proved to be the best thing I've ever done. It takes longer to hand write and my hand definitely cramps up when I do it, but I think without the temptation of the internet or solitaire, it's easier. Not only that, but I think because writing by hands takes longer, it also makes you think more because you have to take your time with every single word, whereas on my laptop, I can crank something out easily because my hands have memorized the keys and that makes it go by so much faster.

Writer's Block sucks. It totally sucks, but it's also challenging. My only desire in the whole world is to write and when I get blocked then I feel like a drug addict who can't get a fix. I just don't feel like I'm functioning unless I'm creating something with my words. The only way to get my fix is to find ways around Writer's Block so I can do what I need to do.

Fare thee well,
April

I Think I Hate You Facebook

Greetings!

So, I'm irritated and the only way I know how to properly express anger is by writing it down or making my followers on Twitter mad with a series "CAPSLOCK APRIL" tweets which are annoying and probably take away from my irritation by irritating other people. And thus, I turn here.

Today, what irritates me is something that has irritated me for a while now: Facebook.

I liked Facebook for a while, then I moved to Twitter which basically completes my social networking soul. And I always went back to Facebook every day to see how friends are doing, post a status update maybe, perhaps I'd post something funny or cool I found on the internet. I was just as quiet and friendly on Facebook as I am in real life.

It has just now occurred to me, however, that if my reserved personality can show through on Facebook people who are obnoxious in real life can most certainly be obnoxious on Facebook too.

People who post the same status four times in a week make me want to slam my head against my desk repeatedly. I understand that maybe you really do love your life. Maybe you really are happy just doin' you, but if you're going to clog my feed with your repetitiveness and make me waste 10 seconds (that I could spend about BBC or CNN or HuffPo or The Onion or seeing what's new in Star Trek)  for the love of Helga Hufflepuff, could you at least mix it up a little.

And another thing--why do people feel the need to put pointed statuses up on Facebook. For example: "I'm so over the Facebook drama. I didn't know we were still in high school, but it's okay. Go ahead and be childish. I'm on my own level" or something to that effect.(I've never had Facebook drama so excuse me if I'm not clear on how these ridiculous statuses are supposed to work.)

That's not just something you say in general. You are obviously talking about ONE person and you are obviously doing nothing but continuing the Facebook drama by making pointed comments.

What really, really, grinds my gears about Facebook is that people are exactly the same online as they are in real life, except BRAVER. I mean, pointed status updates are basically things you whisper to your friends behind other people's back. And you can put them on blast on Facebook , saying anything and everything you want about them WITHOUT using their name and when you see them IRL or if the pop-up chat you on Facebook you're going to be just as polite as possible even if you said 30 seconds ago that you were so over them and that you were going to be above the BS.

This leads me to one conclusion: I find people obnoxious in real life. If people are braver on the internet wouldn't it make them even MORE obnoxious? Facebook increases obnoxiousness dramatically. It increases stupid dramatically. It increases the amounts of face palms I do daily, dramatically.

And the obvious answer is to just delete all the stupid obnoxious people from your profile, from your life. But there are some people who you can't get rid of because that would leave to drama in your real life which you try desperately to avoid because no matter how much you love someone some people in your life are just annoying on the internet.

I'm sure people get tired of me always going on about Harry Potter on Facebook. I'm sure they think that's obnoxious, I'm sure they wish I would tone it down. I'm sure that in person they think "aw, April like Harry Potter. How cute." but on Facebook they feel like "If she posts about Deathly Hallows 2 again I will cut that bitch."

And if I can be obnoxious on the internet and adorable in real life then people can certainly be obnoxious online and just fine in real life.


But if you delete them on Facebook then obviously you have a problem with them because obviously Facebook is an accurate depiction of who your real friends are.

I know most people use Facebook to stalk people. I know you only friend some people so you can see their business and say "look at what this hoe is wearing. I always knew she was a skank. Let's look at her pictures and see how skanky she is."

But godforbid this person you don't even like deletes you. Then all of a sudden you're incredibly offended because how dare they dislike you.

I could keep going but I feel myself making less and less sense and understanding how much people and Facebook just annoy the crap out of me. Sometimes I just want to go on people's pages and post nasty Draco Malfoy type comments to shock them into shutting up.

But that is so not me. I feel guilty when I speak my mind about people making me upset. Like I have the balls to be nasty to people.

All though some day I really would like to use my favorite insult a la Sauruman from The Two Towers. "You stink of horse." That would be so boss.

*sigh*

To delete Facebook or not to delete Facebook. That is the question.

BDEA 11: It's Gettin' Hot In Hurr

Greetings!

Today is another one of those where I have nothing to talk about.

Target was not fun, again. Our scanners went down so I kept having to call people over the walkies to find stuff (or rather, tell me that we were out of things).

It's warm, which is nice but I'm hot because I'm wearing a hoodie because when I got to work I had to do a freezer pull (which is just stock for the feezer)and it was massive and I was cold. THen I never took the hoodie off. That was not smart.

My throat is sore. I'm drinking ghetto iced tea (Dairymens FTW) and eating popcorn for dinner.

I'll probably nom on some chewy cookies later.

A balanced diet.

Fare thee well,
April

BEDA 10: Melting

Greetings!

This morning I woke up and it was hot as balls. Huzzah! The weather in bipolar Cleveland was finally starting to change in the right direction.

Yes! Warm weather!

Although I'm not the best at heat (it makes me weak) I was excited. Time to break out the shorts and the tank tops (except at Target where apparently I'll still be doomed to red and khaki pants.

So I get upstairs from sleeping in the basement and the house is, as always, melting.

But I sit down on the couch and prepare to wait Bait Car and then I smell something. A smelly sort of smell.

The smell that you smell when you turn the heat on in your house.

IT WAS 80 DEGREES AND SOMEONE HAD TURNED ON THE HEAT!

I did not understand. I still do not understand why, on the first hot day of summer, after staying here house sitting in the cold for three days THIS was the day that someone turned on the heat.

My brain was confused.

It was simple as turning the heat off and opening a few doors and blowing a fan to cool it down slightly, but still--it is hot as balls out here.

It is incredibly hot. But tomorrow it will be 60 and slowly the temperature will drop to the 40 again, just in time for me to turn 20. Boo!

Ah, the sun is setting. I can already feel it cooling down.

Time for me to relax...

Fare thee well,
April

BEDA 9: 20 More Little Things

Greetings!

So, I've been feeling incredibly stressed out and angry as of late and I've been having a hard time relaxing. So, I decided to use to day to make another list of 20 more little things that make me happy, to remind myself that life is not as horrible as I think it is currently:

1. Walking inside from the cold into a warm house.

2. A nice cup of green tea with honey.

3. Listening to Picard say "Make it so" and "Energize"

4. Listening to Wizard Rock.

5. Rereading Blogging Twilight.

6. Getting to watch Attack of the Show.

7. Really hot, really tasty bacon pizza.

8. Reading Sonnets.

9. That irritated look Dana Scully gets on her face every time Mulder finds evidence of aliens that can be easily dismissed by science.

10. Dragon Ball Z Abridged "I have green skin, pointy ears, and a turban. Oh, yeah--I must look like so many other people."

11. Horatio Caine one liners.

12. Trying to teach my boyfriend's nephew to say "April" without him saying "ball?" instead.

13. Rereading my old writing and cringing at how bad I used to be.

14. Blasting my music and singing along to it.

15. Yu-Yu Hakusho Abridged. "Damn, Hiei. When'd you have time to chop him up like that?" "About 2 seconds after I nailed your mother." "Haha. And I thought you didn't have a sense of humor." "I don't."

16. Watching Mystery Diagnosis and making myself even more of a hypochondriac one episode at a time.

17. Dancing--when people aren't watching me of course.

18. Successfully making and consuming Shake and Bake.

19. Hanging out with people I haven't seen in a while.

20. Coloring in a color book with crayons.

Whew. Tough to do when I'm not feeling at 100% April. I'll be honest though, watching the Horatio one liner really perked me up quite a lot.

Fare thee well,
April

BEDA 8: Relax

Greetings.

I don't feel like blogging today.

I woke up to an anxiety attack and have been handling it all day.

So, I don't feel like blogging.

Instead I'd like to crawl into a hole and sleep or something.

But I can't. I've been trying and I can't.

Today has been a horrible day and I fear it I am the only one to blame for it.

*sigh*

Fare thee well,
April

BEDA 7: Weird Nerd Love Part 2

Greetings!

I love anime.

Most of the anime I watch is mainstream, but still, what I've watched, I've loved. And just like with books and TV personalities who host the news, I am in love with a few anime characters.

We'll begin with my firs anime love. I thought it was Gary Oak from Pokemon, ah Gary.

But then I realized that there was one character I've been crushing on since LONG before Gary.

Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon.

Ah, yes, just thinking about him makes the five-year-old girl in me weak in the knees. That top hat, that cap, the roses. I was sold. I'm still sold.

And I still can't explain why Serena never could tell that Tuxedo Mask was her beloved Darien because it was so obvious.

Tuxedo mask was so dreamy, not only because of the dreamy effects that they used on the screen--surrounding him with flower petals, make the screen all foggy and what not--but because he was a super hero. He would always come out of nowhere and save the day and Sailor Moon would be like "Oh, Tuxedo Mask, you're so awesome and dreamy" and he'd be all like, "Yes. Yes I am" and then disappear.

I still swoon just thinking about it.

Number two on my list is Uryu Ishida from Bleach.

I know, Uryu? The nerd? Mr. Handy-Crafts?

Yes. I mean, hello. I love to knit and I love nerds. And he wears glasses. I am a sucker for a guy with glasses.

And look at the bow and arrow.  Gaze and be amazed at the size. The sheer strength. . .

Uryu is a champ too. He constantly has to put up Ichigo and Renji and lord knows their more than occasional stupidity makes you want to ram your head through a wall.

Plus he's a sweetheart. I know you saw the Bount Arc. I know you were sad when his lady friend went away forever.

And yes, he kind of starts out as a douche--I know, but he redeems himself. He gets to be awesome.

Not to mention, he's a pretty snazzy dresser.

I am such a weirdo.

Last, but certainly not least, is Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist.

Sure, he's not the tallest guy around standing at about 4'11" (poor guy), and sure he may have an automail arm and leg.

But Ed's heart is always in the right place. His morals started off pretty bad, attempting the whole human transmutation, but he only did it because he was a little kid who missed him mommy and used his special talent to try to get her back. You can't really fault him for that.

And he and Alphonse and tight. And it's so cute. You don't see brotherly love like that. My brothers don't love each other like that.

And then there's Ed and Winry. Sure, he keeps her at arms length, but it's only because he obviously loves her so much. Remember Barry the Chopper (and I'm thinking FMa not FMA Brotherhood)? Remember how sad he felt when she got attacked and he almost couldn't save her?

How bad he feels every time he hurts her? Or hurts Al? Or how he felt when he let his teacher down.

Edward Elric has such a big heart despite his small size. Plus he can use alchemy and kicks ass with his automail.

So Tuxedo Mask, Utryu, and Edward don't have much cross over at all in anyway, but whatever. My brain is scattered around all over the place so that should explain some things obviously.

Until tomorrow.

Fare thee well,
April

BEDA 6: Now With More Dolphin

Greetings!

So, I totally was going to write this blog about anime characters that I love, but it's late and I won't be able to give it the care and attention that it deserves.

Instead, I'll tell you about other stuff.

Like tonight at Target, I finished with all my work at about 9:45 which left me with nothing to do for 45 minutes. Some of my softlines buddies finished way before that.

Sometimes while I'm at work I think of really clever things that I could write about but I don't have the opportunity to write them down. It makes me a sad panda.

We are currently debating on whether or not you can use miracle whip if it expired back in August and September.

We say no. One says it's just "the sell by date."

A likely story.

This conversation just happened:

BF: This tuna says it's not dolphin safe?

Me: Really?

BF: No. Why would they put that on a can?

Me: They would in Japan.

BF: This is not Japan.

Me: In Japan they probably say "Now with more dolphin."

Oh yeah, that was in bad taste. I made a joke in bad taste verbally. Booyah.

Fare thee well,
April

BEDA 5: An Open Letter it Kanye West

Dear Kanye West,

I am a huge fan of yours. I mean, I've never heard a song that you've made that I didn't like.

Seriously, if not for you would ever listen to rap music. You are an innovator.

You're awesome. You know you're awesome right? People have had to tell you that you're awesome right?

Oh. . . Right, I guess you do know that you're awesome considering the fact that once you get past how the amazing sound that you created, all your lyrics pretty much talk about how amazing you know you are.

So, music aside, I guess, you're a talkative, self-important douche bag.

I've always known you were a douche, Kanye, but it really hit me the day that you interrupted Taylor Swift.

Seriously, what  made you think that it was okay for you do that? To Taylor Swift of all people. And then she wrote a song about how you're a douche and that you need to grow up.

Buddy, listen, how would you like if it you were on stage winning an award for the biggest douche, as always, proclaiming to the world how awesome you are and how everyone else should just be happy that you even exist because their lives would be so worthless without you, and out of nowhere, Taylor Swift comes on stage and says "I'mma let you finish, but Mike 'The Situation' is the biggest  douche bag of all time" and walked away.

How dare she interrupt you in them middle of your speech. Your moment of glory to tell you that you are not worthy?

And that's exactly what you did to her. Shameful.

Still, even after all that I still listened to your music.

But I'm sad to say that I can no longer support your music.

And it's not because your music is bad, but only because you have become even more of a douche than I thought possible.

How? If you could be mean to Taylor swift, who I love, and still have my support, what could I possibly be offended by?

Your diamond teeth.

Really? What the hell were you thinking?

Fare thee well,
April

BEDA 4: Tear Jerkers

Greetings!

When I cry, it's usually because I'm angry and not because I'm sad or distraught. There are exceptions, like the last time I saw all of my friends before we went away to college or that day my brother got a concussion on a swing when I was eight.

The biggest exception to the sad rule is movies and sad TV shows. When Rose and the Doctor got stuck in different dimensions my heartbroke and it still does every time. But the list of movies goes on far longer than the list of TV shows and there are three movies that will undoubtedly make me cry every time I watch them.

The first is Rugrats: The Movie. I know what you're thinking--how can a movie about babies make me cry? Well, there is more than one instance in this movie that will bring the water works. The first is when Didi mom is reading Tommy a story and Stu brings Dill into the room and she stops reading to sing Dill to sleep. As soon as Dill is asleep they leave the room and never finish reading to Tommy. So Tommy, sits in the closet feeing sad and abandoned. And I will cry.

The second is when Tommy and Dill are stuck alone together and Tommy is about to give Dill away to the monkeys and Dill gets scared and starts clinging to Tommy. It's so sweet every time that I just started crying.

The last tie is when Spike fights the wolf and everyone thinks he's dead. Oh, man. You have no idea how much that sucked for me. And I cried like some wolf killed my own dog. And I'm always so overwhelmed when I find out he's not dead that I cry some more.

You're probably laughing at me for crying during Rugrats but whatever.

The second movies that never fails to make me cry is Titanic. I know, incredibly cliched but whatever. I am a sucker for love stories and Jack and Rose are one of my favorites.

The only part of the movie that really makes me cry is when she jumps off the lifeboat and back onto Titanic and finds Jack and is like "You jump I jump right?"

Every time.

The last movie is a movie that I have seen once and probably can't watch again for fear that I'll lose control again. Never have I ever cried so hard at a movie as I did when I saw Toy Story 3.

That movie is too serious. The scene in the dump just made me cry so hard. I felt like my life was over. It hurt so much I couldn't stand it and the end obviously. I left that theatre in tears.

Toy Story 3 was incredible but it's too much for me to handle.

Other movies that have made me cry are Pokemon the First Movie, A Walk to Remember, Harry Potter 5 and 7 part one.

I also cried after I watched The Village but that was because I couldn't believe I'd wasted my time watching that movie.

Haha, I'm joking.

Fare thee well,
April

BEDA 3: M. Night Shamalanadingdong

Greetings!

Do you remember WAY back when when M. Night Shyamalan first came onto the scene and everyone was pretty excited about his movies because they were pretty boss?

I mean, I watched the Sixth Sense. That movie was pretty damn good. And I liked Unbreakable as well.

But then we got to Signs and something about it just didn't feel right. Maybe it was because the only movies I liked Mel Gibson in were Pocahontas and Lethal Weapon. I get pretty excited about movies with aliens because I am an alien lover and all that, but Signs just wasn't my cup of tea. It wasn't completely bad but it could've been a lot better.

Still, I had hope that Shyamalan would come back and wow everyone with another good movie.

. . . And then I saw The Village.

This movie was horrible that I watched it once and Shyamalan lost all credibility.

Town stuck in the 1700s on the inside of a reserve in a forest where people dress up as animals to keep everyone from discovering the truth? Are you serious?

I watched that movie on a snow day when I was home from school. I cannot believe I wasted my snow day like that.

It started off pretty good, you know, you sat and you wondered what kinds of animals live in the forest and all that jazz but then Liam Neeson comes out and is like "Oh, we're the monsters."

And then she climbs a wall and, behold, civilization.

*head desk*

So, I decided to never watch another M. Night Shyamalan film again.

I saw the trailer for Lady in the Water and decided "I will not waste my time again."

But then, The Happening came out and it was rated-R and it had Mark Wahlberg and John Leguizamo and Zooey Deschanel and the concept of the movie didn't sound too horrible, so I thought, maybe it'll be a good one.

*shakes head*

No. Just no.

The only thing more disappointing than The Happening was The Knowing with Nick Cage and I feel about his acting the same way that I feel about Shyamaln's directing.

Which brings me to the greatest Shyamalan tragedy ever:

The Last Airbender. Do you know how psyched I was when I discovered that they were making that into a movie? I danced with glee and twirled and sang and was so happy.

And when I finally saw the trailer for it I was excited. It looked pretty cool. And then it said those words that also mean "This film will be terrible":

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

And then over and over and over again thousands of Avatar fans cried out in pain because such a masterful animated series had been butchered by this destroyer of everything he touches.

Most recently, I believe, he came out with a movie called Devil which is about five people being stuck in an elevator with, you guessed it, the devil.

Personally, I think a film about being stuck in an elevator would be scary enough, but throw in a stupid twist like the devil and slap Shyamalan's name on it and even I'm to frightened to watch it.

Fare thee well,
April

BEDA 2: Weird Nerd Love

Greetings!

It comes as no surprise to most people that I have pretty odd tastes in everything. Tragically, my music collection consists mostly of Wizard Rock, 80's Soft Rock, and Taylor Swift which just leaves most people looking at me like I've grown a third head (because, obviously, I already have two).

I'd like to say  that as I've gotten older my taste has gotten better, but it hasn't. It's only become more dated, more Wizard Rocky and more Taylor Swifty.

Musical interests aside, my attraction to most things in life is always odd. Including, most especially, my nerd crushes.

You know, your nerd crushes--those people you see reporting the news or narrating on the History Channel that just make your insides turn to mush?

What? I'm the only one that has those? Well, this is awkward. . .

Anyway, I've got three big nerd crushes. I'll start with the one that's stuck around for the longest:

George Stephanopoulos.

Now that you're done scratching your head, let me explain.

It all started a long time ago before he was an anchor or Good Morning America. Back when he was a political correspondent for ABC. And then he had his own political talk show in the morning on Sundays that I used to watch.

Political jargon always goes right over my head (I need to take a Poli-Sci class) so I never really paid much attention to what was going on, but I always watched George.

I'll be honest, what really caught my eye. One day, he popped up on to the screen and Oh. My. God. Yellow blazer. Black slacks. Black and yellow tie.

George Stephanopoulos is a Hufflepuff. Be still my beating heart.

It was a sign that this nerd love was meant to be. One day, I'll stop sleeping in so late and I'll be able to get up on time to actually watch him on the morning news again, and eventually I'll be more politically savvy and be able to understand more than 25% of what he's talking about.

My second nerd love is one of the contributors to one of my favorite television shows ever--The Universe. I always say that if I had been born with a talent for math and not for English, I'd definitely be working toward getting into NASA to do research because outer space, the final frontier, my God, I can't imagine a more enchanting field to study.

But alas, I can't wrap my brain around all the math that it takes understand how the universe works so, instead, I listen to my nerd love, Michio Kaku, dumb it down for me.

You're probably scratching your head again. I know, I know. But you just don't understand.

He's adorable. I probably find him adorable because every time I look at him I see a little Chibi-Michio, but that's beside the point. When he's on The Universe or talking to Nightline about the crisis in Japan, he always knows what he's talking about.

On the Universe he gets so excited. He'll sit there and talk about Shoemaker-Levy 9 and be so excited and say something like "It was the first time we were able to witness an extraterrestrial collision with our own two eyes! It was so boss!"

Of course, he doesn't use words like "Boss" although, my nerd head would probably explode if he did. Still, he gets really excited when he talks about things like that and when I see people nerding out about things that I nerd out about it just makes the little fangirl in me do a jig.

Also, don't act like you haven't noticed that he looks like an older version of Masi Oka.

And now, we come to my last nerd love. This guy is the reason I wanted to join Star Fleet as a child.

George Takei.

Now I know what you're thinking--"Come on, April! George Takei is gay! He could never love you!"

I know this, obviously, but gosh darn it, I can't help how I feel! I have felt this way since the very first time I watched Star Trek The Original Series.

And then recently, watching Heroes I discovered--Oh. My. God! Mr. Sulu is Hiro's father.

So, obviously, I love George Takei not because of his mind but because of the fantastically nerdy projects he's a part of. And I love that he's so openly passionate about equal marriage rights--this could have something to do with the fact that he's gay, but whatever. I am inclined to love people who love people loving people.

Did I mention that I followed him on Twitter and he DMed me? And my little nerd head nearly imploded from it.

I love that man.

Anyway, those are the nerd loves of April.

More like this to come in the future. It will be filled with people who are considerably less old (with the exception of Sean Connery) and less Asian (with the exception of Johnny Yong Bosch. Man, do I love Johnny Yong Bosch).

Fare thee well,
April

BEDA 1: BEDA Take Two

Greetings!

That's right! It's April Brother-tuckers! Brace yo'self foos!

Now, that's I've got that brief moment of insanity out of the way, let's get down to the meat of it.

Blog Every Day in April has begun. Are you excited? I am excited. I did pretty good in August with BEDA, I thought, heck, another go won't hurt.

Especially since the RWCC Challenge failed so spectacularly. BUT at least I kept my apartment clean (well, not the past two days--things have been stressful here this week).

Anyway, I've written down some topics to blog about since August was filled with me being angsty and sad and angry and progressively more so as the month went on.

It'll be harder this time around since I'll be working more than I did in August, but heck, I managed to win NaNoWriMo TWICE going to school full-time (let's not talk about the fail of 2010, kthnxbai).

Besides, April is my month. I was BORN this month. I was named after this month. I may get confused every time someone mentions the date and I think people are calling me and they aren't but whatever.

Fun things are planned for this month.

Ready. Set. Blog.

Tomorrow of course.

Fare thee well,
April

RWCC Challenge Day 23: Catching Fire

[Argh--there be spoilers ahead. Readers ye be warned.]

Greetings!

So, I just finished reading Catching Fire. I know, it took me long enough to start reading this series, but I had a little trouble getting started because I lacked something in the characters--emotional investment.

I'm on to Mockingjay now, and although I still feel the strong desire to kick Katniss in the face as I find her annoying, the emotional investment is there.

I can honestly say that I don't really feel a whole lot of love for Katniss. She's as selfish as the day is long and what annoys me even more is that she knows she's selfish because she constantly says things along the lines of "he was concerned about me, but I was only concerned for myself." And she feels bad every time she thinks about it but always fails to deviate from her usual pattern of behavior.

The other thing that bothers me about Katniss is that she doens't know what she wants. When she's with Gale it's all Gale all the time. But when she's with Peeta it's all about Peeta. I think her problem is that she can't seperate her romantic feelings from her "just friends" feelings which is why sometimes she makes out with Peeta on the beach or why sometimes she goes gallivanting off into the forest with Gale, which is pretty much the Katniss equivalent of making out.

Let's not talk about Katniss. Let's talk about why I actually like this book so much.

Despite the fact that pretty much everything Katniss thinks annoys me, I like the way she says it. I also like that she annoys me because it means she's being honest. It annoys me that she doesn't know what she wants but Collins makes a point to show that Katniss probably doesn't know what she wants either.

Also, the change in her personality is different from The Hunger Games to Catching Fire. She was pretty tough in the beginning--a loner, self reliant, content to be left alone. While usually a traumatic event like the Hunger Games would harden someone, I think it actually softened her. She was so suspicious and untrusting in book one, but this time round she expresses that she does trust people and how she doesn't want to kill to stay alive. She went into the games willing to sacrifice herself so Peeta get out. She still has to fight back her selfish tendencies and her suspicious tendencies first, she does eventually come around.

I like Katniss in those moments.

The other things I like about the books: The Hunger Games arena. As soon as I went to bed after reading Catching Fire, I dreamed about the Hunger Games with the ever present "tick-tock" of a clock going in the background the whole time. Not only that, but there are things in those arenas that never fail to make think that Suzanne Collins watched too much Indiana Jones and horror movies as a child. The things you find there are just horrifying.

The first thing that Suzanne Collins ever wrote that gave me nightmares were those wasps that stung that girl to death. Then they got attacked by those mutts. And I thought, no way that can get topped.

Well, color me wrong. Acid fog. Blood rain. Tidal waves. Electrocution. Killer monkeys. Insanity. Pandemonium.

Collins' mind must be a terrifying place to be.

Finally, the actual plot of the story is pretty damn good too. I mean, it's incredibly effed up obviously, still. Everything about it just keeps me thinking. For instance, is every district the size of a city? If so, how small is the population of humans left alive? Those are the two most daunting question I got from it. Trying to figure out why the Capitol is so oppressive and trying to figure out why some of the other districts are so impoverished would be like trying to figure why some countries here are so oppressive and why some countries are so impoverished. And it's THAT realization that made me feel connected with the actual story.

Thinking that things in America could really get so horrible that we could turn into that horrifies me. That's why Utopia/Dystopia stories are my favorite and this series is especially good.

The main character annoys me, yes, but the story and everything that Katniss is fighting for pulls me in. Plus it's exceptionally well written. There aren't any fancy words and it isn't overly detailed. It's simple, but it's got a lot of feeling to it. It's riveting.

I'm well on my way into Mockingjay and I've already face palmed myself and actually found people I dislike more than Katniss, but I won't get into that yet.

Hmm... I'm not sure how to end a review. Maybe a should do a little jig *does a jig*

I promise I'll do better next time. Practice makes perfect!

Fare thee well,
April

RWCC Challenge: Day 16: Road Trip Wednesday

Greetings!

So today's Road Trip Wednesday topic is: Who have you written into a book--be honest.

What? I've never written anyone I know into a book. You're crazy. . .

Of course, I'm lying, but as it happens, I try to avoid doing this at all cost.

The first book I ever wrote, which will never see the light of day ever again (it is safely hidden away in a plastic tub inside of a notebook, affectionately dubbed "The Bloom Book") was written in 10th grade. It was called Livvie's Story. I know, what an awful title, but I was in 10th grade. Who cared?

Anyway, I spent all day and all night working on this book and at first I was in love with it. But then, a friend asked if she could be in the book and I thought to myself, sure why not. So I wrote her into it. However, soon after this others started to ask to be in it as well. And because I was 15 and I loved my friends more dearly than anyone else in the world, I obliged.

Long story short, I finished the book (a feat I have since not been able to replicate) but I hated it. I couldn't even look at it. By adding my friends into it, it had turned into something that I really, really, really hated.

It wasn't because I hated my friends or anything. It was mostly because it just wasn't the story I had envisioned anymore. Since then I have done my best to stray away from adding people I know in real life into my writing. . . However. . .

I may or may not have added a boy I had a HUGE crush on in third grade into something I've written. He used to throw things at me in class and make fun of me, you know, act like boys did when they liked a girl in grade school. I transfered schools in third grade and didn't see him again until I was in 11th grade when I was at the library. He walked up to me and our conversation went something like this:

Him: Hi, April.
Me: Oh, hi. Long time no see.
Him: Yeah. So my mom said the reason I was mean to you when we were in grade school was because I liked you, but I just wanted to let you know that I didn't like you.
Me: Oh. . . Okay. . .
Him: Okay. . . Bye.

I assumed that things like can't possibly happen in real life because who's really worried about who did or didn't like someone in third grade, especially since I never spoke to him ever again since I left the school, but whatever, I decided I had to write it down because people had to also look at that story and say "of course it's in a book because that would never ACTUALLY happen" when I'll know that it did because it happened to me.

There are other people I've written into my work, disguised very carefully as minor characters or characters that are written in for the soul purpose of being fridge stuffing. Basically, if I wrote someone I know in real life into my work it's because they were A) Really interesting or B) Made me want to choke them.

None of those people, nor the boy from 3rd grade, are mentioned by name and I'm willing to bet that if they read my stuff they'd never notice it was them.

Have I ever written myself into a book? No. But, I have taken certain characteristics from personality, inflated them, and then attached them to a character as a way to have a little bit of myself in every book which I think is fair and I think everyone does it subconsciously anyway.

The people in our everyday lives are a part of our experiences right? And, as a writer, we write about our experiences and what not, so, that being the case, people are bound to end up in our books if they were a part of our lives if they have a good (or bad) enough impact on us.

Fare thee well,
April

RWCC Challenge Day 15: Secret TV Watching Habits of Classy April

Greetings!

There's a consensus from pretty much every person I have ever met that I'm a bit odd. I've addressed the aspects of being an uber nerd many times over and how that makes me odd.

But then there are other things about myself, things that I can't quite grasp, that also make me odd. These things, I don't usually talk about because they're typically frowned upon by every person I've ever met. Then I have an epiphany that what I'm doing is actually so odd it creeps me out, but that doesn't stop me from t doing it.

The oddest thing that I can think of that bothers me is how addicted I am to what is probably the worst television show ever created:

The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Yep. As much as I like to keep is classy and how I'm not usually into television that's too horrible, the excitement I feel when I watch that show baffles even me.

Every time I watch Secret Life I feel the same way I felt after I finished reading Breaking Dawn: "Was this series as terrible as I think it was and if so why am I actively encouraging in it's continuation?"

Thinking back to the first episode I see now how awful it was from the very beginning. It wasn't one of those shows that started out good and then got pretty bad, this show has been bad from episode one.

At first you think, oh, it's about a stupid 15-year-old girl who gets pregnant by the school's male slut. Everyone has heard this story. But then it goes on to meeting Ben who wants to lose his virginity and Amy who is so desperate for her baby'd daddy to not be her baby's daddy that she might actually sleep with Ben just to say it's his baby.

I'm beginning to think that I from the beginning found it stupid but watched it too many times and now it's turned my brain to mush and I can't stop.

A lot of people say that Pretty Little Liars is their guilty TV pleasure, but no. Pretty Little Liars is awesome. I have no guilt about that at all. But every time I watch Secret Life I feel dirty. Really, really dirty.

Hopefully it will go off the air soon and I'll have a reason to stop watching it and I'll stop feeling guilty. In the meantime, bring on the guilty (well, starting on the 28th when the new season starts. Shamefully, I am very excited about it).

Fare thee well,
April

RWCC Challenege Day 8 Part 2: Stress and Anger and April

Greetings!

So, recently I've been under a great, enormous deal of stress. In high school, my counselor used to call me a stress monster because I was really good at holding things in and stewing over them, but as far as letting things out and expressing them I was really, really, bad at it.

I've always been aware that I don't have to like everyone (because I certainly don't like everyone I meet) but I did think everyone had to like me--or at least not hate me.

I'm starting to get over that silly idea, because now I know that if I tell people that I don't like something or anything else along those lines it shows that I have a spine and a voice--something people just assume I don't have because I've been a quiet doormat most of my life.

I was watching That '70s Show recently and Kitty said something that just made me go "That is my life". She said "My mother told me that good girls don't cause trouble and now I've grown up to be a doormat."

Exactly. I never cause trouble. I gave people what they wanted. I was very submissive.

But now, something has happened. I feel like my brain is a string on a guitar that's been wound to tightly that people keep plucking that's well on its way to snapping.

I've snapped a few times in my life all during high school--January of Freshman year. January of Sophomore year. March of sophomore year (you couldn't pay me to be 15 again). September of Senior year. All of these instances I ended up crying in my room or in the counselor's office at school because of my inability to properly handle stress.

I am still not good at it but I am getting better. My boyfriend, such a good sport, sits there and listens to me while I spew out everything that stresses me out and tries to make life better for me.

But still, there are just something that talking to your boyfriend an writing in your journal can't fix. When that fails I go and stress out a few of my characters, read/write some fan fiction, watch TV--do my favorite things. But even then sometimes I feel all of this bottled up. . . emotion.

And I just know, I know with all my heart, that I am going snap. My guitar string brain is going to pop and I'm going to lose it.

But I feel different this time. I don't feel sad or under pressure--I feel angry. I feel like someone is going to say something to me and I am going to snap and then scream and yell and tell them how stupendously stupid what they said and I am going to release all of this stress out onto them.

It will be out of character. It will be scary for everyone involved. Hide your kids. Hide your wife.

Holding in too much stress for me is a very bad thing for those around me because it makes me brave. I am a Hufflepuff. I do cowardice very well. But with too much stress and with too many people stepping on me day after day I eventually have enough of it and blow my top and "keep it real". And usually, I can present this very calmly (and with lots of tears) but the stress I feel now is different than the stress I felt before. It's angry stress brought on by the masses of stupid people I have encountered at Target and in my daily life.

Sometimes people just talk and say something so completely stupid that on the inside I scream "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!" because what they said was so appallingly stupid or ignorant or just plain ole simple minded that I feel like a ninja should pop out of the shadows and round house kick them in the face Chuck Norris style for saying it. And that's the kind of stuff I've been holding in--the feeling of roundhouse kicking people with my words the way Chuck Norris does with his feet.

Imagine 1000 tiny Chuck Norris' inside of my chest just waiting for someone to say the perfect stupid thing so that they can all jump out and attack them for it.

Do you have an accurate idea of how much anger is inside of me now? Of how much stress has been building up and what will happen if released?

I'm going to blow up the way Red Forman did on Hyde when he got caught with Jackie's pot. I will probably even use the word "dumbass" repeatedly.

I don't WANT to blow up on someone. The only thing I can think to do is gradually release the stress anger by "keeping it real" every once in a while so things don't go wrong. I mean, calling someone a dumbass and stupid can get you hit in the face, and despite how I can word things to make them less brutal when I write, I'm not the most eloquent when I speak. I don't articulate things well on the spot.

That being the case, someone can be stupid to me tomorrow and cause me to blow up that way so what can I do about that? Think about how I'm going to shout at them before I do it. However, I will keep in mind that in the heat of the moment anger can cloud judgment and how that can lead to some pretty intense words and I won't censor myself and then people will be really, really angry.

Now, I'm going to be self-centered here and say that I deserve to get angry and blow up on someone for all the years that I refrained from doing so to spare the feelings of others. I should be allowed one free angry pass for all the years I didn't tell people that their stupidity made me angry. Majority of the people I know are always talking about how they want people to say what they think of them to their face so why get angry if I do just that?

Oh, right, because I'm supposed to be a coward who doesn't stand up to you and doesn't have an angry thought in her pretty little head.

*laughs*

The moral of the story is: I need to learn to handle stress better lest I turn into this evil, angry, mean person who yells. Which is not like me at all.

Song of the day: "Mean" by Taylor Swift

Fare thee well,
April

RWCC Challenge Day 8: Challenge Revisited

Greetings!

This is not an "I Quit" blog. Because I am not a quitter. However, I like many before, have realized that there are certain things that I'm just not capable of doing.

So, this blog is to show that I am revisiting this challenge and setting my goals to a standard that I can actually meet.

Essentially, all of my house hold tasks and health improvement goals will stay the same because laziness and illness are not an option. However. . .

This 12am bedtime is not working.

I'll just lie awake in bed until four being awake, trying to sleep and fail. I do my best writing during this time and if I'm going to be awake then I may as well do what I do best.

The waking up and 8 thing isn't working either however. . .

I'm still going to try, albeit it will be difficult to get up that early if I stay up late but my plan is to eventually wake up one day stay awake until a reasonable hour and then be tired enough to fall asleep, thus putting my sleep schedule back on track (it was ruined by NaNoWriMo).

Now for the reading and writing goals. Essentially I'm doing this:

Still trying to write 2000 words a days but if I don't get it, no sweat. Sometimes the words just aren't there.

One book a week. I did a really good job at this before and I can get back on track so long as I make time for it.

Yesterday I cleaned my apartment (well, not the dishes but it's the BFs turn for that so no worries there) and my bed is totally made up right now so. . . So far so good. Time to get to reading and get to writing.

As for the Harry Potter blog every Saturday, I doubt it'll happen but I will try to update it once a week from now on.

After all, I make the rules and I can change them when I want to. But no quitting. Only quitters quit. On Nov 30th 2010 I'd only written 30k words for NaNoWriMo but was I up until midnight trying to write? Damn right I was.

Fare thee well,
April

RWCC Challenge Day 4: SO CLOSE

Greetings!

Today was slightly more successful than yesterday.

I ALMOST got myself out of my writing red zone from the past two days but I didn't read at all.

This fate could've been avoided if I had remembered to turn my phone off vibrate when I got home from work. Alas I did forgot. . . So. . . That happened.

Also, I probably could've made more progress if I had decided to not turn on That 70's Show when I got up this morning and I didn't really have to go see Take Me Home Tonight either (but it was funny. You should watch it).

So, I just turned my phone on so I will hear my alarm.

I will NOT watch That 70s Show while I write.

I WILL tomorrow. I am determined.

Starting Word Count: 17,212
Ending Word Count: 19,106
Difference: -2,645
Favorite Sentence Written Today: "All the kids there made fun of me, but I'm pretty sure I was way cooler than all of them for not being as successful a clown as they were."


Starting Page: 38
Ending Page: 38
Difference: -60


Fare thee well,
April

RWCC Challenge Day 3: Definitely Need to Get on That Water Thing

Greetings!

So today marks day 2 of my "bad day" and hopefully it will not continue into tomorrow.

Essentially, I woke up feeling better about today than yesterday. I got up early and everything. Just as I went in to make my bed I felt it like a knife--that familiar pain in my side hinting that I'm probably getting another kidney infection.

Ever since I got my first one, I've lived in constant fear of them. I got a second one back in December and I've been trying to drink water to keep myself from getting one.

I slipped a bit in February so I decided to drink more water this month.

Too little to late apparently.

So, after being stricken with pain I laid down in my bed all day trying not to hurt, I started to feel better in the late afternoon and decided that I could go to work and I did and I felt like I was being shanked the entire time, I'd have asked to go home but that would leave one girl to zone the entire softlines part of the store on her own and that would've sucked.

And now I'm home and tired and hurting and drinking water and I have A LOT of catching up to do tomorrow.

But I can do it.

You know, barring a trip to the hospital on account of the possible kidney infection, but let's try to stay optimistic, shall we?

Starting Word Count: 17,212
Ending Word Count: 17,212
Difference: -2,539
Favorite Sentence Written Today: NOTHING!


Starting Page: 38
Ending Page: 38
Difference: -40

Fare thee well,
April

RWCC Challenge Day 2: Is April Gonna Have to Choke A Bitch?

Greetings!

March is not cooperating. Not at all.

The story begins last night around 11:30 when I realized that come midnight, I was not going to be asleep. I have this thing, probably called insomnia, where when I lay down at night to go to sleep, it doesn't work. Unless I go to bed when I'm actually sleepy, it's not going to happen. Otherwise I lie there, wide awake in the dark frustrated about not being able to sleep.

So I decided that since I wasn't going to be sleeping at midnight the very least I could do was turn off the computer, which I did. Long story short, I went to bed at almost two, which considering I usually hit the hay around 4:30 is a step in the right direction.

I was all prepared to wake up and be groggy at 8:30 this morning but, come 6 o'clock I hear something moving in the dark--a familiar sound. Mice. With the knowledge that there were mice in my apartment for the umpteenth time this year, I cannot get to sleep, which is fine. I figured, if I'm up at six, I'll definitely be asleep before midnight.

But no, I feel back asleep at 10, even though I told myself that I was not going to sleep past nine. To make it even worse, I didn't wake up until my boyfriend got home from work at about 12:30.

AKML.

Still, there's plenty of time left in the day. I can totally still read, write and clean up a bit before the day ends.

So I long on to check my e-mail and there's a message to me from my college bearing really, really bad news.

You see, I took all online classes last semester which was a HORRIBLE idea and I will never do it again because I did really bad. I can't learn outside of a classroom, which is something I'm happy I learned early on my college career.

But, like I said I did really, really bad and despite having been on the Dean's List the semester before my GPA dropped down super low. And because my GPA was not satisfactory I "may not receive financial aid for my next semester of enrollment."

So basically today:

1. There are probably mice in my apartment
2. I slept in.
3. Academic probation

Yep. March is just shaping up to be. . . Awesome.

And of course, armed with the information that I can't go back to school until the spring or whenever they decide I can give fin-aid another try I have walk into Target everyday and feel like I am completely and utterly wasting my life away working at a store that I can't even afford to shop at.

My life is so awesome.

And get this: when I'm in a bad mood, like right now, I find it very, very difficult to write and read. It's not usually an issue because I am just so happy-go-lucky all of the time, but it's days like this that make me feel like I'm just not up to it. It's days like this that just make me want to go all Wayne Brady on people.

Still, I need to push through all of the bad stuff and know that there is something good coming out on the other side. So even though today sucks the future holds this:

1. I will live in a place that doesn't have mice really soon.
2. Tomorrow is a new day and I can try not sleeping in then.
3. I can easily pull my grades up.

My motto is to always look on the bright side of life and, besides, March is my month to spring clean my body and mind so starting over and looking on the bright side totally implied in that, at least it is for me.

The past year has been tough for me with all my friends being so far away at school and I've been here trying to figure out exactly what direction I want my life to go in. I've always known what I want to do at the end of it all, but I don't know exactly what I want to do to get there. I'm at Point A and I want to get to Point B, but do I take a plane, a train, a bus, or a car to get there?

All I want is to keep going to school, keep writing and to not have mice in my apartment and the universe has yet to cooperate long enough for me to do any of those things successfully simultaneously.

*takes a deep breath*

But I'll be okay, I think. . . Yeah. I just need to breathe a little bit. Relax. Look straight ahead to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Tomorrow will be better, even if I have to go to work at a job that makes me want to ram my head through drywall.

Today's Starting Word Count: 16,673
Ending Word Count: 17,212
Difference: -539
Favorite Sentence Written Today: "What do I need a closet for when I have a perfectly good floor?"


Today's Starting Page: 38
Ending Page: 38
Difference: -20


Song of the Day: "Breathe (2 a.m)" by Anna Nalick

April's Read, Write, Clean and Classy Challenge!

Greetings!

So, I got up this morning (11:45 still counts as morning right?), and went to Twitter and then to YouTube and on YouTube I watched a video by this lovely girl I follow on Twitter by the name of Bailey. She and her sister are doing a 30 days of blogging challenge where they will blog every day and be awesome and it got me thinking.

Why don't I challenge myself to do awesome stuff on a whim like that? Why must I always wait until BEDA or NaNoWriMo to start super awesome writing projects? It's March. I'm alive and well today. My fingers work and I'm all hopped on coffee. So I decided that today I am also going to start my super awesome project for the month of March which will be like a spring cleaning for my body and mind.

I present to you: APRIL'S READ, WRITE, CLEAN & CLASSY CHALLENGE!

1. Every day I will write at least 2,000 words of my work-in-progress novel.

2. I will read at least 20 pages of a book every day.

3. If the above two are not met, the remaining word count and pages will roll over to the next day (so if I only write 600 words I'll have to write 3,400 the next day) and as a punishment for failing I'll take away my Twitter privileges for 12 waking hours--during which I'll be crying and torturing my characters because I screwed up.

4. At the end of every day I will give my word count for the day, and the page number of the book I'm reading via, this bloggity blog here along with whatever topic I assign myself for that day (suggestions please?).

5. Every Saturday I have to update the Blogging Harry Potter blog.

But it's not just about reading and writing. There is a lifestyle change involved in this challenge to improve my overall health and well being and to make me less lazy.

1. Get out of bed by nine o'clock. Stop being such a lazy bum.

2. Bed time is Midnight. No exceptions.

3. Do the dishes. Every day. That includes, today, tomorrow and on March 16th when I'll be less motivated to do them.

4. Eat at least twice a day. Food is not an acceptable thing to cut out of my life to make room for books and writing even though I sometimes pretend it is until the hunger pains start.

5. Straighten up the apartment--at least make up the bed every day.

6. Water. Drink it. Every day. One bottle. One glass. Just drink it. No pop at all. Even if it's free soda day at work or something.

7. Stretch. I know it's a weird thing to challenge myself to do but if I stretched and was able to relax and unwind more I wouldn't get so many headaches and muscle aches from being so uptight all of the time.

See, now I'll be improving my brain and my health and the ascetics of my apartment which currently looks like a college dorm room which isn't bad considering I'm actually in college, but I'd like to maintain a classier lifestyle. I do follow the tweets of Maureen Johnson after all--she is all about keeping it classy.

I start today so here are my opening stats:

Word Count: 14,416


Page Number: 20 (Radiant Shadows by Melissa Marr)

So basically: Keep writing, keep reading, keep it clean, keep it classy.

Fare thee well,
April <3

12 Step Novel Writing Program

Greetings!

I tell people I'm a writer and by writing every day I seem to actually be one. And people are excited about the fact that I am writer. They love that I feel so passionate about writing and tell me that I should things about stuff that I would never even dream of writing. Still, they know I'm a writer.

What happens though, is that I tell people I'm working in a writing project and they get excited. And then it happens that after a month or so they get on my case, like "Where the heck is that book you were supposed to write?"

Now, sometimes, it happens that I end up hating a story while I write and I stop working on it. Sometimes I feel like it's too Twilighty because the plot is covered in sugar and the main character is a Mary Sue who gets whatever they want. Sometimes, I'll hate the plot and there's no saving that. Other times the whole story will drag. Other time it will move way too fast.

The worst is having a good plot and characters I like but doing something to the story that just makes my skin crawl, knowing I can fix it but not knowing how.

The thing that changed it all for me was in 12th grade when I participated in NaNoWriMo for the very first time. This was an eyeopening experience.

I now know that Jo Rowling didn't sit down and write Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in one sitting (though sometimes I like to dream that she did. I've kept her on a pedestal since I was nine). I'm going to guess that her first draft was a lot better than any first draft I've ever written, but I'm only 19 and haven't sucked enough yet (that's what she said).

National Novel Writing Month taught me a lot about myself and since then I have honed not only my writing ability but the things I have to before I actually write anything at all.

Were you one of those kids who went to a school where they made you outline every paper ever before you actually got write the paper and then they made you do a first draft before you turned in a final copy? Well, I did and I loathed it.

But guess what: they also drilled how to cite everything ever in MLA format so now I kickass at writing college paper (or at least citing in them--and I don't mean to brag but my works cited pages always look pretty glorious as well).

The point is, I now know that I cannot write a book or a short story or even a paper for class unless I outline it first.

There is an entire process to how I write things from beginning to end. It's my very own 12 Step Program (your results may vary). Now I'd like to share it with you:

Step One:
Write down a short synopsis of the entire thing.

This is the first thing that I always, always do. Sometimes I skip it and go straight to step two but then I end up staring at a page for an hour trying to figure out how to end it. Essentially, I just have to write down the gist of the entire thing. "MC goes here, does this, meets MC2. So on and so forth." If I like then I move on to. . .

Step Two:
Naming my characters.

"What? This is the second thing you do? Are you on crack?" No, I am not on crack. There is a method to my madness. Have you ever heard someone say "don't name it because you'll get attached to it?" Well, that's what I do. Naming the main characters in the story (usually just the hero/heroine and their merry band of sidekicks) bonds me to them. Not only that, but once a character has a name, then I can work out how they behave as well. I develop their personalities around their name. For instance if I name someone something like "Cloud Storm" (I would never really use that name by the way) I would know that they're probably going to be dark and angry and mean and whatnot. Once I know how my characters SHOULD behave (more on that later) I know what kinds of things they would do or wouldn't do and that helps me down the road when I need to move the story along.

Step Three
"Chapter" summaries.

I use "chapter" loosely because rarely have I ever written down a chapter summary that ended up filling up enough space to be what I consider a chapter. But, it gives me a place to start and lets me get a little more in-depth with the story. This is a life saver because the story is already in my head and I know what's going to happen. The chapter summaries tell me this has to happen before this happens. I make sure to write down that certain relationship need to have advanced to this stage or someone has to be killed before this point and so on. I have to keep in mind, however, that I am a crazy person and I write down lots of things that don't make sense. For instance, in my most recent outline I wrote down that my MCs parents sent her a care package from Russia filled with, and I quote "Russian stuff". I don't know what that means and I doubt that I did when I wrote it down the first time.

Step Four
Begin writing exposition.*

It's taken me a very long time to realize that exposition is the hardest thing in the world for me to read AND write. Sometimes I get so frustrated with exposition that I just quit. I'm not proud of it, but I do. But I'm a little older and little wiser and I know have to push myself through it. I know it's going to suck because it's the first draft and it always sucks but this is the first great hurdle I get to every time and I know that if I can make this jump everything else will (usually) fall into place the way it needs to. Introducing the setting, characters, and the plot is always the toughest. It's like eating a salad as an appetizer while waiting for your fillet mignon to come out of the kitchen. The salad is necessary because it's good for you and prepares your stomach for the heavy meat you're about to eat but you'd much rather just have the juicy piece of steak wrapped in bacon now and forget all about the salad.

Step Five
Dealing with your characters who (apparently) call the shots.

Once I've started writing, the story is pretty much out of my hands. I don't control what my characters say or do or how they act. They are their own persons and they say whatever. This is frustrating because sometimes I feel like "Bob, why are you being so nice to everyone. You were supposed to be my rebel without a cause!" Apparently Bob didn't want to be the rebel--he wanted to be the bad ass with a heart of gold. Now I know what you're thinking, the character developed that way because that's how I wrote it. But if you remember in step two I say that I write how they SHOULD behave. They don't always stay that way. As I write (as everyone writes) things grown and change and become different and that mostly happens with my characters and I change the world around them to fit them so everything I write goes together well. Of course, there are time when my characters behave in a way that I don't particularly approve of and then I have to punish them. This can vary depending on the offense--if someone decides they want to be friends with someone they were never intended to be friends with I might kill them off or maybe if they think their life is all sunshine and rainbows and perfect, I'll put them in a humiliating situation from which they will never recover. My characters do take on a life of their own but I have to make sure they remember I am their god. I created them--I can destroy them.

Step Six
Do not edit.

Yes, this is a step. After I've gotten through the first few chapters I'll always think of things that I should go back and change or that I can add to make it flow better. No. Absolutely not. That's like taking one step forward and two steps back. Editing now is the enemy. I have to tell myself to keep writing. However, there are times when editing is necessary, like when you have a massive plot change, it's pretty important that you try to fix all that stuff. At least, if I don't do it, I forget about it and then look back and confuse myself. But usually, I don't edit until the end. HOWEVER, since every writer ever feels this desire to edit, if I'm having a particularly good day writing: If I write an entire chapter or something else really awesome, I'll allow myself one hour to edit whatever I want. I get my editing fix and I'll have made progress with the actually story. Everyone wins.

Step Seven
Remind myself that I actually enjoy writing.

After I get far enough into, writing does start to feel like a chore and it shouldn't. This fatigue actually means that I'm almost there. I usually feel like this just before I get to the climax of the story. It's like I'm climbing an actual hill of rising action trying to get to the tippy top where the climax is. It's all down hill after climax after all. Still, all of the anticipation and excitement that happens at the climax is so overwhelming that I again feel like I'm eating a salad and want to get to my steak. You think all those guys who climbed Mount Everest didn't feel like quitting, especially when they got near the top--the air is thin, it's really cold. Maybe a few people have gotten really sick, but they were almost there! just a few more feet, just push a little farther and you'll get to the peak. After that, all you have to do is carefully climb down.

Step Eight
The climax!

The best part of the story! Where everything EXPLODES in a fiery blaze of glory! This is where Harry and his gang sneak past Fluffy! This is where Clio and Aidan get attacked by pirates! This is where The Fellowship of the Ring gets attacked by orcs! This is where the magic happen. The trick for me is to be very meticulous otherwise I blow through it so fast that it actually ends up sucking and then it turns into one of those books where people read it and say "I liked it until. . ." (For me, one of these books was Maximum Ride: The Final Warning. "I liked it until they it turned into a book about Global Warming."). My most recent climax involves a fight with a giant chimera and Google. . . Just ponder that one for a minute.

Step Nine
SLOW DOWN. Ties up loose ends.

The end is where I always screw up. Everything is going well and good and then I  realize I'm almost and screw it all up because I didn't take the time to actually tie up everything or I just blazed through it or I just decide to go all M. Night Shamalamadingdong on it and leave myself feeling like I wasted a lot of time and will never get back the precious hours I spent working on it. I have to slow down. I make sure that I resolve everything. I have to make sure that everything is peachy keen and all that good stuff. This is where I just have to relax and let the words flow out like they should. I have a much easier time doing this now that I've learned to outline instead of just planning off the top of my head.

Step Ten
Walk away. Don't look back.

Walk away from it. Don't look at it. Don't think about it. Write some fan fiction. Throw a party. Take a nap. Eat some cupcakes. After a while has passed (some people wait six months. Some people wait a month. Some people think 24 hours away from it is enough) go look at it with a fresh set of eyes. Then brace yourself.

Step Eleven
Have a panic attack

"Did I really write something this horrible? Did I really think that this line was witty? The plot is all over the place? My grammar is horrible! I totally spelled that word wrong!" If you look at your first draft and you don't feel any of these things, get your eyes checked. Pronto. Take a deep breath. All first drafts suck. They are bad. Like I said, Jo didn't write Deathly Hallows in one sitting, no matter how much I want to pretend she did. And even if she did do it in one sitting, I'm not J.K. Rowling and I'm not that awesome.

Step Twelve
Remove shiny red pen and attack the novel.

This is the final step. Break out your red pen or pencil or whatever it is you use to edit and correct everything. Don't stop until that bad boy is covered in ink. Don't stop until you've written "WTF" on every single page. Don't stop until the margins are so cramped with corrections that you can't write anymore.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I've only ever gotten as far as step eleven because a lot of things I've written, I've looked back at just haven't been worth saving. Like that book I wrote in 10th grade and my first NaNoWriMo novel--all things that I still have that just remind me there's ALWAYS room for improvement and that sometimes it really is okay to just start from scratch.

After you've sucked enough and written until your hand falls off, you'll have written a novel. High five yourself. You're awesome.

There's only one part of writing that I forgot to mention and that is not writing, i.e., procrastination. Sometimes it's much easier to write about HOW I write as opposed to actually writing. Procrastinating usually strikes me during steps four, seven, and nine. Be wary.

Writing isn't easy. It makes you want to *head desk* and *face palm* and throw your laptop across the room. Just because someone is good at writing doesn't mean ideas come to them easily. It doesn't mean we can just sit down and crank out awesomeness. It takes time. It takes a lot patience. Then it takes more patience. Not just from the writer but from the people anticipating the book as well.

Anyway, I might get done faster if I didn't procrastinate this way. . .

Fare thee well,
April <3

*I feel like I should have a step before this that involves me outlining more thoroughly or something, but I have yet to figure out a way to do this without annoying myself with detail.

Sayonara, Bye-Bye

[It takes me a moment to get to the point, but you'll understand once you get there.]

Greetings!

So, it's come to my attention that I'm kind of a freak. I know that the general population, doesn't care about outer space or the progression of the death of the universe. Most of them don't care how many times I've read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (12 by the way). Most of them don't care or understand Twitter. Most of them look at me, whenever I mention any of those things and think "Wow, what a freak."

And then I look at them and think "I LOVE being a freak."

I love watching Fruits Basket and then having weird dream where everyone is an animal. I love writing Harry Potter fanfiction. I love that my most recent project is to work the Sisyphean into a sentence and then divulge too much information about the word's origin and meaning. I love that I can explain to you, in detail the three ways that the universe might die. I love that I love Young Adult fiction even if it means a lot of people around are going to eventually tell me to grow up and read more adult books, or worse non-fiction (ick!).

But let's face it. I'm not THAT much a freak.

I'll admit, I'm socially awkward. The way I used to function was that I would find a group of people, imitate their speech and their mannerisms and blend in to make myself more socially acceptable. By the time I got into high I had outgrown that. Somehow, I only found it worthwhile to talk to people who were interested in things I was actually interested in. But I never blew off the people who weren't like me.

When I was with people who weren't as nerdy as I was (because as it turns out EVERYONE in my high school was a closet nerd in one way or another) I silently observed them. I don't mean that I went all Animal Planet and detailed out every single thing that they did, but if they were having a conversation, I'd listen (if I was with them--I don't mean eavesdropping. Who do you think I am, Samwise Gamgee?). I'd watch them way I watched in middle school, but instead of imitating, I'd make a mental note of it (you know, because I'm a writer. It's what I do).

I think people are fascinating. SO fascinating. Even the incredibly horrible things they do are fascinating. I'm always curious about the WHY behind the things that people do (Am I going to go to grad school for something psychology related--of course). I want to know why people have to be socially awkward. Why aren't people more accepting of other people? Why do I find interaction with people outside of Twitter so difficult?

But the answer is easy--we're all afraid of rejection or not being accepted by other people.

I can hear the outcries now "I don't care whether or not people like me. People don't have to like me. I don't care what other people think of me."

But you do. Because if no one liked you, you'd be alone and friendless and you'd hate everything.

The thing that I, that MOST people, I think struggle with is the idea that not EVERYONE has to like you. I don't have to make sure that everyone likes me.

I am an odd, but naturally likable person, because I don't make things difficult people. Some people would call this being spineless. That is I'm starting to call it as well. People ask me a lot of questions and for my opinion on a lot of things but I don't usually answer because I don't want to be painted in a negative light, even if my answer would mean standing up for someone else. And for all the good that I want in the world I know, I've always known, that there are two types of evil: Those that do evil and those that see evil being done and do nothing.

I am the second type of evil person. That sucks. Totally sucks.

Occasionally, I can be passive aggressive--You can tell when I'm irritated and being passive aggressive with you because I'll start my sentences with an "actually" or "apparently." For instance, I was in 3rd grade and my teacher said that we stomped up the stairs like a herd of elephants because we were so loud. I replied "Actually, elephants walk on their tiptoes so they don't make a lot of noise when they walk."

I didn't get recess that day, obviously.

Still being cheeky and passive aggressive is about as much as I do these days. Because, like I say, time and time again, I just don't have the energy to let things upset me.

But today, I woke up and got onto Facebook and something inside of my brain snapped. It was a very sudden, sharp snap. For some reason, almost everything and everyone on Facebook and in my real life made me, really, really angry.

I couldn't explain why I was angry or what they'd done at first but then I had two very massive realizations.

The first was that no one cared about me. And I don't mean that in the "my existence is meaningless" kind of way. I meant it in the, if I were to sit in the same room with most of these people even our small talk wouldn't last five minutes. I would ask them how they were doing, how their life is going, what they've been up to lately, if I know them well enough, how that little hobby of theirs is going. And I know, for a FACT that this gesture would not be reciprocated. Most of them would not even ask me what book I've read recently because they do not care. They don't even care enough about me to be polite to me. And time and time again these are the people that I see doing evil (you know, the gossiping, rumor mongering crowd) and I do nothing about.

Why are these poisonous people in my life? What do they do for me?

And that's when a fellow tweep made it all crystal clear for me: I feel an obligation to these people to keep them around. Why? Because I'm too nice. Because I have no spine. I am a jellyfish.

I am weird. But I'm not that weird. I don't do things that gross people out. I don't sit in a basement and play World of Warcraft all day and forget that there's life outside my apartment. I'm just a nerd. A massive nerd who likes to learn things and read books and go to school.

I am not too weird or too much of a freak for people to not want to pay me even the most basic of common courtesies and if people aren't going to be kind to me then I don't have to be kind to them.

Okay, yes I do. I am always going to be polite and kind because it's who I am. But what I don't have to do, is keep you around. There may not be that many people in my life, but there are enough of them around that I can cut most people out of it and keep around the ones that will make an effort to treat me the same way they treat everyone else despite the fact that I am a freak.

Yes, I'm a freak, but this freak has feelings. I know you have feelings. I treat you like you do because it's what we all should be doing. I don't care if you're some weirdo who plays D&D or if you're a pretentious hipster or even just a dumbass who thinks they know everything. You are a human freaking being and you deserve to be treated as such. People should be nice to you. People should treat you like you have feelings that can be hurt and that words, or lack there of, along with sticks and stones can hurt you.

I may be a freak who watches The Universe and reads YA literature and writes fanfiction and lists "smiling" as one of my favorite activities and has a difficult time communicating with people who don't have similar interests, but that doesn't make it okay for you to just decide that your time could be better spent being a butt muncher than being nice to someone who is always nice to you no matter how massively annoying they find you.

So here's the deal: I like to spend my time being happy and nerdy and I've wasted too much of it wondering why people I see all the time don't say more to me than "Hello." So, goodbye all you poisonous energy suckers. It may not make a difference to you whether or not I speak to you ever again but it feels pretty damn good to not have to speak to you ever again.

Find a new nice girl to string along. I'm done with you.

Fare thee well,
April

HP Book One: Chapter 5

Chapter Title: Diagon Alley
What I Would Call It: It's Tough Being Harry Potter

The one thing I love about Harry throughout the entire series is that he constantly remains enchanted by the magical world he lives in. Every time he learns about about new piece of magic or sees how it works in wonderful and fantastic ways, it's all so beautiful and wonderful to him. It annoys most people I know that Harry constantly seems surprised by the things magic can do and should, especially by the time he gets older, shouldn't be surprised by it anymore.

But I think it's great. It's like how when people first meet the Doctor and they learn aliens are real and they spend the whole day fighting aliens and when it's over and the Doctor invites them to go on adventures with him they see the Tardis, this little blue police box, and ythey wonder, how is that a space ship and they go inside and it's vast and huge and--it's bigger on the inside.

Even though they've spent the whole day fighting Daleks or Cybermen or Santa's with guns and they're like "well now I've seen EVERYTHING" they go into the TARDIS and they're still like "Whoa!" And no matter how many times they travel to different periods in history or how many times they visit other planets, every time they do it's always a wonderful and new experience.

The very same principle applies here.

This only comes to mind because Harry wakes up the next morning after everything and thinks it was all a dream. His world is so normal and so cut and dry that a giant named Hagrid can't have possibly come to take him away to a magical school called Hogwarts. He can't be a wizard. He can't be famous. His parents died in a car crash and not by a dark wizard with a silly name.

But it's true, proven by the owl that shows up tapping on the window to deliver a newspaper. It attacks Hagrid's coat and he instructs Harry to pay the with  bird with 5 knuts *snickers*. I'm sorry, but did you seriously read this book as a child and not laugh when the currency was introduced to you as knuts? Did no part of your brain see that and think "that sounds inappropriate so I'm going to laugh at it!"

So, Harry discovers wizards have money, but then is astonished to find they have banks, sorry A bank. One bank. Gringotts. Run by goblins.  Awesomesauce. Hagrid says it's a bad idea to rob them because goblins are nasty and mean, but it is the safest place in the world, "'cept maybe Hogwarts". But they have to go there anyway for Dumbledore.

You know, sometimes I think of Dumbledore as being like Captain Picard. He was always so smart and intelligent and kind and all that and when business needed to get taken care of, he had the perfect team for it. So when aliens attacked or when something in the engine room broke, Data or Geordi or Riker would be like "this is how we can fix it" and Picard would be "That's cool, do this in addition to that" and they'd be like "that's an even better plan" and Picard is all "Yep, cause I'm all awesome. Make it so."

And sometimes it seems like Picard isn't the hero, without his leadership and all his "make it so's" nothing would ever get done. Like Dumbledore.

And now that I've confused those of you who have never seen Star Trek before, let's move along.

Harry asks how Hagrid got here because, there's no other boat aside from uncle Vernon's. Hagrid says he flew. Harry imagines Hagrid flying and so do I. Like, can't you just picture Hagrid soaring through the sky, his jacket flapping in the wind behind him like some large, hairy superman? Best imagery I've had in my head all day.

On the boat, Hagrid reads the Daily Prophet and Harry, as is typical of any 11-year-old asks a thousand questions. We learn that wizards have a Ministry of Magic. I Googled "British Ministries" to gain a better grasp of how their government works and I got confused. There were a lot of people and dates and time lines. No definitions. I, an ignorant American, can only assume (after also watching Torchwood and Doctor Who which are both places you want to look to learn about how things REALLY happen across the pond) that they have different ministries there that function as their form of government, like here in America we have different departments and what not like the Department of Defense and so on. Like that.

I'm sure I'm probably wrong but, like I said, ignorant American.

According to Hagrid, the ministry wanted Dumbledore to be Minister of Magic (which is equal to the President or Prime Minister--I do know SOME things) but everyone knows he loves Hogwarts so Cornelius Fudge asks him a thousand questions a day about how to do his job.

Harry asks why the Ministry of Magic keeps magic away from Muggles. Because muggles are greedy. Didn't he see Lord of the Rings? What happened when Sauron gave the rings to kings of men? They got all power hungry and turned into the Nazgul... Then again it is only 1991 where Harry is and so it hasn't been made into a major motion picture yet. I think that terrible cartoon was out back then but... Like I said, terrible cartoon. And Harry doesn't strike me as the kind of child who reads Tolkein.

But that's exactly why muggles don't know about magic, because if they did they'd want magic to solve all their problems.

Another question Harry asks is about if Gringotts really keeps a dragon in its vault. I'm sure he was getting at "are Dragons real?" but Hagrid says that he's wanted a dragon ever since he was a child (there'll be a quiz on this later).

They get on a train and people stare. Maybe it's because it's because Hagrid's a giant who likes to knit yellow things. I think people wouldn't stare as much if he were doing something appropriate to the way he looks like, cleaning a shot gun or sharpening an axe.

Whilst knitting, Harry looks at his school supply list. There's his uniform for starters (did you know their robes had NAME TAGS?). There's a list of some awesome books everyone wants: Standard book of spells, A History of Magic (Bathilda!), and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them  (Hey, I have that one!) for starters.

Then there's "Other Equipment". At the very top of the list is the most magical, shiny, wonderful, glorious thing that everyone wishes they had (or, if you do have one you wish it worked outside of your imagination): 1 Wand.

Excuse me while the little fan girl inside of dances and spins and twirls dreamily.

Moving on, they go to London and come to the place known as "The Leaky Cauldron". Harry suspects that only he and Hagrid can see it. He will learn later of course, that muggles only really see what they want to see.

Inside, it looks like a pub, people smoked, people drank. They saw Hagrid and waved hello. It was like the set of Cheers.

Tom the bartender asks if Hagrid wants his usual, but Hagrid can't drink while he's working. Then everything goes still. People stare. Then everyone's like "OMG! You're Harry Potter!"

Then, a name I remember, Dedalus Diggle. Harry's all like "I've seen you before! You bowed to me once in a shop!" And then Dedalus gets all fangirly. He reminds me of me that day I went to my first The Remus Lupins concert and Alex Carpenter was like "Oh, yeah, I remember you from MySpace." And on the inside I was all like "OMG! Alex Carpenter knows who I am! Whee!" But on the outside I was like "cool" because, I was too cool for that whole fangirling people outwardly (that is until the day I met Neville's Diary, but that's an embarrassing tale worthy of it's own blog).

Then we meet another character intrinsic to the plot, without whom this book would have no plot: Professor Quirrell who has an eye twitch and a stutter and teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts.

After he leaves the pub to an empty, walled courtyard where Harry asks if Quirrell is always that nervous. Apparently, and I forgot all about this, he was fine until he took that year off and ran into those vampires and the hag and now he's scared of everything.

Hagrid taps a brick on the wall and a hold appears which grows bigger and bigger until an archway forms and  a little cobblestone (*google image searches cobblestone* So THAT'S what they look like. It's like brick but not really) street.

Welcome to Diagon Alley.

Whatever, Jo. We know you just pulled the word diagonally apart and added an "e". I know your game.

Diagon Alley is magical and wonderful and did I mention wonderful. It's filled with loads of shops filled with awesome things that Harry wouldn't have thought up in his dizziest day dreams. But then they come to Gringotts, the giant white building with the creepy little goblins.

They go up to the counter and meet with a wee goblin. After asking for the key to Harry's vault. Hagrid slips the teller a note and says it's about the "you-know-what" in vault 713.

Oh. Em. Gee. 7 and 13 are my two favorite numbers. Coincidence?

So, a goblin by the name of Griphook pops up and leads them back to the vaults by way of a fun roller coaster type train that makes Hagrid sick.

On the way, I find one way that muggles are better than wizards. Harry asks Hagrid what the difference between stalagmite and stalactite are. Hagrid replied with "Stalagmite has an 'm' in it."

Now, because I'm a muggle I have a mobile cellular device. On this this cell phone I can go to this website called google and type in something like "stalagmite vs stalactite" and then google will come back and tell me the answer.

Wizards and witches of the world--where's your google?

That's right, Muggles: 1 Wizards: 1,000,000,000,000...

So, they reach Harry's vault and he opens the door and inside are mountains and mountains and mountains of money. Harry realizes that he's rich and is flabbergasted. Hagrid explains the money, knuts, sickles, and galleons. I won't repeat it here because I've never remembered it and I doubt I ever will. I'm okay with that.

After collecting his money, they go to vault 713 and pull out the You-Know-What. Harry is disappointed that in side of the vault is empty except for the You-Know-What. He thought there was going to be tons of cash and jewels on the inside of it, but alas, no.

When they leave Gringotts, Hagrid suggest Harry go get his school robes while he goes to get a pick me up from the Leaky Cauldron. Yes, Hagrid, that's responsible. Leave a child who's never been here before ever in his life to wander here alone. You most certainly can go get a drink from the pub.

But, Harry goes it alone to Madame Malkins Robes For All Occasions.

Inside Madame Malkin puts him up on a stool next to some pointy faced albino boy (I wonder who that could be...) who immediately starts up a conversation with him.

At first it's friendly, though the boy seems bored. He then expresses his disgust at not being allowed a broom into school and how he's going to bully his father into buying one for him so he can smuggle it in.

This robe fitting just took a turn for the douche.

Draco--I mean, the boy, asks Harry if he has his own broom. "No." Does he play Quidditch? "No". Harry wonders what the eff is Quidditch. I want to know why he hasn't told this spoiled kid to kick rocks already. But the boys goes on about how awesome it is and how it's a crime if he doesn't get picked to play for his house. Then the boy asks what house he thinks he'll be in. Harry doesn't know but his monosyllabic replies don't stop the boy from continuing to speak. He think he'll be in Slytherin because his whole family has been. Then he says "Imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"

*pulls out shot gun*

Eff you, Malfoy! Don't talk crap about my people! We Hufflepuff's are a proud, if not somewhat easily frightened, people! We may not be the smartest or the bravest or the most popular, but we're individuals damn it!

Before I can murder the boy, he sees Hagrid outside and Harry can finally give more than one word replies to him. He says that it's Hagrid. Then things get MEGA douchey.

Draco asks if he's some sort of servant. Harry says he's gamekeeper. Then Draco says he's a savage who gets drunk every once in a while and tries to do magic and ends up setting his bed on fire.

First of all Malfoy, Hagrid is not a savage. He's bohemian. Jerk.

Harry thinks Hagrid is brilliant and Draco asks why he's even here with him and not with his parents. Harry says his parents are dead. Draco says sorry but doesn't really mean it and earns his spot at the top of Harry Potter's shit list.

Finally Madame Malkin, finishes up Draco's robe and he skips along his merry ol' way. But Harry is sad. He doesn't know about Quidditch and the Malfoy boy says that Muggle Borns she be allowed in. But Hagrid is great at cheering people up.

Obviously, if this Malfoy kid had known who he was he wouldn't have been such a jackhole. Besides, lots of Muggle Borns are awesome, like Lily. Even if her sister was a complete douche.

But Harry wants to know more about Quidditch. Hagrid says it's a complicated sport played on Brooms (and if you've ever read Quidditch Through the Ages you'll know this is true).

And then, What are Slytherin and Hufflepuff?

They're the school houses of course, Hagrid replied. He also says that Hufflepuffs "are a lot of o' duffers" and Harry immediately thinks he'll land in Hufflepuff. Well you'd be proud to Harry. So. . . There.

Which Hagrid kind of agrees with--it's better than Slytherin anyhow because that was Voldemort's house. Hufflepuff is better than alls ya'lls houses. Word.

After finishing up their ice cram they pop over to Florish and Blotts for his school books, then Hagrid has to talk Harry out of buying a solid gold cauldron (Ten Responsibility points for Hagrid) and then they pop over to the apothecary which smells bad but looks pretty cool... Like your mom...

The last thing Harry has left to buy is his wand.

So, Hagrid goes and buys Harry an animal (HEDWIG! Weeeee!) and then they go to Ollivanders!

Ollivander immediately gives off that old guy vibe. You know the one I'm talking about. He's like the old man that sits in his rocking chair on his porch that all the children go and hear stories from.

And he knows everyone. Old people know everyone.

Ollivander continues to behave like a creepy old man by invading Harry's personal space and touching his scar. He proceeds to say that he sold the wand that did that to his face --he's sorry about that, obviously.

But, Ollivander, gets on with life and starts measuring Harry everywhere (most notably, between his nostrils) and also pulls out some wands for Harry.

All of the wands are made of fail, but then Ollivander gets a curious idea. Luckily, this hunch works out. Harry, who loves to asks questions asks why the wand he has is curious.

"Oh, only because the wand I gave Voldemort had a phoenix feather core from the exact same phoenix who's feather is in your wand. Ain't that nutty? Say! I bet since your wands are relatives you'll probably be pretty awesome. You see, that Voldemort, boy was he an awesome wizard, definitely evil, crazy, out of his mind of course, but, yeah, also pretty bad ass."

Nope, not creepy at all.

Harry pays Ollivander and leaves, wondering why people love him so much. He doesn't even know why he's famous. It must be SO hard to be loved, Harry. I mean, after years of living in a cupboard under some stairs with spiders, enduring years of psychological trauma and physical abuse from your family members and classmates, how dare these people acknowledge your existence? How dare they show sympathy for your dead parents, and how dare they marvel at the fact that as a baby you weren't murdered by a dark wizard? How dare they expect the best out of you.

It must be hard being extraordinary.

Harry's day ends with Hagrid putting him on the train back to the Dursley's with his ticket for Hogwarts and says that if the Dursley give him trouble to send a letter with his owl.

Harry looks out the window to see Hagrid as he pulls away but Hagrid is gone. He probably flew away again.