On any given day I wake up feelings crappy. I can't help it. Waking up is horrible for me but as the day progresses I usually feel better and happy and even excited about life. There are so many great things you can do with life.
You can smell fresh cut grass or eat bacon or read a book! You can feel the warmth of the sunshine against your skin or the cool breeze run through your hair.
All these wonderful things about life usually makes me feel so good that when people are rude or assholes or just acting without common sense that I can ignore it and let them carry on.
Now, I know I'm not perfect. I'm far from it. I try to learn something new everyday and I always succeed. And I try my damndest to be kind to everyone and I'm pretty sure I do that too.
So why, universe, do you keep sending assholes my way? Why must they impose their meanness on my happy go lucky way of life?
Here's the deal.
As I've said many times before I write fan fiction as a hobby and it's fun and cute and fluffy. It's not supposed to be one of those fics that people leave reviews saying "Incredibly well written! More like art than fiction."
No. Not me.
I get reviews saying things like this:
R.I.P.
RebelAngel15
Died a rather unfortanute(sp?) death, on account of dying of laughter from
reading Chapter 9: Sibling Rivalry from the story Fifth Year Kix Grass by
KairiGokuJr.
May she rest in peace.
Amen
An actual review. Which is obviously more entertaining than one that would talk about my masterful writing skills and I like it that way. Fanfiction is fun for me! It's one of those things about life that I cherish.
But, assholes, let me tell you, they pop up every once in a while and they piss me off. Suddenly they send a rain cloud of snarkiness and douche baggery my way. here's a review I got nearly an hour ago.
Interesting concept, but the writing is atrocious. You have dangling modifiers
and inverted sentences that sound absolutely ludicrous. You have no setting
for your story, and your grammar and mechanics need revision under a sharp
eye.
This story is at best, forgettable.
What I wanted to tell her was:
Go fuck yourself. Nigga out.
But that's not the kind of person I am. the kind of person I am said something like this:
You take your life and my fan fiction too seriously. I'm glad you're not reading it. Please go fuck yourself.
Again, I left out the F-bomb. I said a lot more. But the basic gist of it was just like I told you: Fan fiction is supposed to be fun! We're not supposed to get it looked at like we're trying to win a Pulitzer Prize or something. It's a way to broaden our imagination, bring them to life, share the ideas in our head with other people.
If you're going around putting everything in fan fiction under a microscope instead of just enjoying it for what it is then.... Then... Then "I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries", as the French Taunter would say.
Basically, this girl told me what I already knew: that I wrote a shitty fan fiction when I was 14 and it needed lots of improvement.
Thank you Captain Obvious, leader of the douche bag brigade who read one chapter of my story and then condemned it to death. I wonder how much time you wasted writing the artsy and constructive review when that brain power could've been put to good use positively instead of pissing people off. And I'm sure she knows what great fan fiction looks like because she reads Twilight - which is pretty much the greatest fan fiction ever written [While I was being sarcastic about her knowing what great fan fiction looks like I genuinely believe that Twilight is the greatest fan fiction ever written. No joke].
Anyway, I want to write a book review now and then go read a book and write some stuff.
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
Fare Thee Well,
April
Was there a date on the story/chapter? Because while I agree that it's dumb to judge a writer by something that was written years ago, the reviewer might not have known that.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, though, the second review is a very harsh but very honest review that I know I, and a lot of other fanfic authors, would love to get. Fanfiction is fun, yes, but a lot of people use it to improve their skills or simply want solid advice to make their works better. And since you are actually interested in becoming a professional author, that sort of criticism is particularly valuable to you. It may be the "omg write more!!"s that keep you enthusiastic, but it's the harsh critics that give you real things to improve on that will make you publishable.