A few days ago I came to the realization (well discovered via Helping Haiti Heal Livestream) that Harry Potter was not a horcrux, technically anyway.
But, as I tried to uncover the truth I went to J. K. Rowling's website and tried to see if she had explained it somewhere on her website.
I did not find the answer to my question. I did however find something much more fulfilling and I wouldn't have expected any less from a woman who is so legitimately amazing.
Under her "miscellaneous" section she had a note titled "For Girls Only, Probably...". And I thought to myself "Hey, I'm a girl!" so I clicked it and read over what she had written. What it was was a very detailed rant about the subject of weight, people's perception of size and how utterly stupid the whole thing was.
Usually, I avoid the subject of weight whenever possible usually for the exact opposite reason that other people do.
I'm small. Little. Skinny. I always have been. And while a lot of girls in school got made fun of for being "fat", I was constantly getting made fun of for being skinny.
If I had a dollar for every time that someone in middle school told me I had an eating disorder I would be rolling in dough. It always hurt my feelings because I never had an eating disorder. I was just small.
But it always got to me. Even being 19 years old, there are still days when I look in the mirror and I don't like my body and to other people that sounds crazy! Do models not spend thousands and thousands of dollars on surgeries and personal trainers so they can get down to a size 2 or 3. I would kill to be a 5!
Being thin isn't all it's cracked up to be. There are days, as I said before, when I hate it. I have horrible, horrible joint pain and back pain because I get so cold - even now when it's seventy degrees outside, that my whole body tenses up and won't relax. Sometimes I'll accidentally whack my bones together and it hurts. I don't feel safe on roller coasters because I slide all over the seats.
And it's not as if I haven't tried to gain weight! I try all the time, yet sadly in all my 19 years of life I have only ever managed to weigh 112 at the most - and that was in 11th grade.
I can suck down as much ramen and bacon as I want to and it will not stick. And I can't eat large meals. I have to eat small meals constantly because I can't eat a lot of food.
After middle school, when I got into high school, everything changed. No longer was I being made fun of being little people were like "Whoa! How do you stay so thin?" and I don't have an answer except that the universe hates me.
I don't get why girls who look like me are held to a higher standard of beauty and it's such a big deal and it shouldn't be.
Girls like me don't look real! The only reason I look real is because people are bemused by me when they see me eating a plate of bacon and reading Harry Potter (which I'd never do in real life because I wouldn't want to get grease on the pages. I don't eat and read).
And then on Monday, after I finished watching my guilty pleasure, Secret Life, a new show called Huge came on. I was kind of worried about how I was going to take the show because I find the very idea of sending a child off to "fat camp" to be awful, like, can you imagine a worse way to make a kid feel bad about themselves?
Anyway, the main character is a rebellious girl with purple streaks in her hair named Willemenia (she goes by "Will" because she's a rebel). Now, I like Will because A) she's not ashamed of herself and her body. But then there's the fact that she sneaks food into the camp and is basically fighting the camp and everything they stand for because she doesn't want to lose weight for the sake of being a rebel rather than because that's just what she wants.
Not everyone in the camp is there against their will and that's what bothers me the most about Will. By selling the food there she is sabotaging the people that are there to lose weight and to be healthier and that's holding them back which isn't fair. It's okay that she's proud of herself and set in her ways and what not, but it's not fair to bring down people who don't feel that way.
Everyone should be allowed to feel happy and feel comfortable and healthy despite what other people say.
This is what I wish:
In Dragon Ball, when Goku first meets Bulma she's the first human contact he's ever had outside of his grandpa so Goku has no perception of male and female or ugly or pretty. Goku is so cut off from all of that he instinctively only judges people by the way they treat other people and when I saw that for the first time I thought that was wonderful and amazing.
There a lot of things I wish we could do like Goku - the whole Saiyan thing in general being one, but loving everyone unconditionally and seeing people for who they are on the inside without forgetting that everyone, even the evil king Piccolo, has some good in them is what I really want (and, it helps that it's more practical).
You shouldn't have to struggle with your size because other people don't like the way you look. You should be happy to be in your own skin, you should feel healthy and no one should try to tell you otherwise.
I don't feel healthy in my body no matter how envious of it people are. When I was in 9th grade and broke 100 pounds, that was one of the happiest days of my life. The day that I manage to break 110 again, I will no doubt eat a celebratory plate of pirogies and bacon (because that's what I do) and strive to be 120. And then, maybe, my clothes won't sag and maybe I can hug people without my bones hurting me and maybe I won't freeze to death when the temperature drops to a brisk 75 degrees. Maybe they will actually make belts in my size! And personally, I think I'd look rather nice being curvy rather than skinny.
Remember Mariah Carey when she was skinny? Look at her now. I can only see this endeavor as a good thing.
Fare thee well,
April
But, as I tried to uncover the truth I went to J. K. Rowling's website and tried to see if she had explained it somewhere on her website.
I did not find the answer to my question. I did however find something much more fulfilling and I wouldn't have expected any less from a woman who is so legitimately amazing.
Under her "miscellaneous" section she had a note titled "For Girls Only, Probably...". And I thought to myself "Hey, I'm a girl!" so I clicked it and read over what she had written. What it was was a very detailed rant about the subject of weight, people's perception of size and how utterly stupid the whole thing was.
Usually, I avoid the subject of weight whenever possible usually for the exact opposite reason that other people do.
I'm small. Little. Skinny. I always have been. And while a lot of girls in school got made fun of for being "fat", I was constantly getting made fun of for being skinny.
If I had a dollar for every time that someone in middle school told me I had an eating disorder I would be rolling in dough. It always hurt my feelings because I never had an eating disorder. I was just small.
But it always got to me. Even being 19 years old, there are still days when I look in the mirror and I don't like my body and to other people that sounds crazy! Do models not spend thousands and thousands of dollars on surgeries and personal trainers so they can get down to a size 2 or 3. I would kill to be a 5!
Being thin isn't all it's cracked up to be. There are days, as I said before, when I hate it. I have horrible, horrible joint pain and back pain because I get so cold - even now when it's seventy degrees outside, that my whole body tenses up and won't relax. Sometimes I'll accidentally whack my bones together and it hurts. I don't feel safe on roller coasters because I slide all over the seats.
And it's not as if I haven't tried to gain weight! I try all the time, yet sadly in all my 19 years of life I have only ever managed to weigh 112 at the most - and that was in 11th grade.
I can suck down as much ramen and bacon as I want to and it will not stick. And I can't eat large meals. I have to eat small meals constantly because I can't eat a lot of food.
After middle school, when I got into high school, everything changed. No longer was I being made fun of being little people were like "Whoa! How do you stay so thin?" and I don't have an answer except that the universe hates me.
I don't get why girls who look like me are held to a higher standard of beauty and it's such a big deal and it shouldn't be.
Girls like me don't look real! The only reason I look real is because people are bemused by me when they see me eating a plate of bacon and reading Harry Potter (which I'd never do in real life because I wouldn't want to get grease on the pages. I don't eat and read).
And then on Monday, after I finished watching my guilty pleasure, Secret Life, a new show called Huge came on. I was kind of worried about how I was going to take the show because I find the very idea of sending a child off to "fat camp" to be awful, like, can you imagine a worse way to make a kid feel bad about themselves?
Anyway, the main character is a rebellious girl with purple streaks in her hair named Willemenia (she goes by "Will" because she's a rebel). Now, I like Will because A) she's not ashamed of herself and her body. But then there's the fact that she sneaks food into the camp and is basically fighting the camp and everything they stand for because she doesn't want to lose weight for the sake of being a rebel rather than because that's just what she wants.
Not everyone in the camp is there against their will and that's what bothers me the most about Will. By selling the food there she is sabotaging the people that are there to lose weight and to be healthier and that's holding them back which isn't fair. It's okay that she's proud of herself and set in her ways and what not, but it's not fair to bring down people who don't feel that way.
Everyone should be allowed to feel happy and feel comfortable and healthy despite what other people say.
This is what I wish:
In Dragon Ball, when Goku first meets Bulma she's the first human contact he's ever had outside of his grandpa so Goku has no perception of male and female or ugly or pretty. Goku is so cut off from all of that he instinctively only judges people by the way they treat other people and when I saw that for the first time I thought that was wonderful and amazing.
There a lot of things I wish we could do like Goku - the whole Saiyan thing in general being one, but loving everyone unconditionally and seeing people for who they are on the inside without forgetting that everyone, even the evil king Piccolo, has some good in them is what I really want (and, it helps that it's more practical).
You shouldn't have to struggle with your size because other people don't like the way you look. You should be happy to be in your own skin, you should feel healthy and no one should try to tell you otherwise.
I don't feel healthy in my body no matter how envious of it people are. When I was in 9th grade and broke 100 pounds, that was one of the happiest days of my life. The day that I manage to break 110 again, I will no doubt eat a celebratory plate of pirogies and bacon (because that's what I do) and strive to be 120. And then, maybe, my clothes won't sag and maybe I can hug people without my bones hurting me and maybe I won't freeze to death when the temperature drops to a brisk 75 degrees. Maybe they will actually make belts in my size! And personally, I think I'd look rather nice being curvy rather than skinny.
Remember Mariah Carey when she was skinny? Look at her now. I can only see this endeavor as a good thing.
Fare thee well,
April
Love this post. Getting out of my own head and hearing someone else's perspective is illuminating.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of a story.
I hate being in a bathing suit. Who doesn't, really? I was traveling with a boyfriend in Puerto Rico and we drove all day and stopped at some random beach. Way off the beaten path for tourists.
I am not skinny. I was the skinniest person at the beach. Here it is, my lifelong fantasy, and guess what? Skinny was not attractive on this beach. Big was. So there I was, still in the same boat. Oh, the irony.
It really shows how SILLY it all is.
Your quote sums it up:
"You should be happy to be in your own skin, you should feel healthy and no one should try to tell you otherwise."
I agree. completely.
I saw a book titled something like "Real Women Aren't Size [insert arbitrary number here]" and it made me so. angry. Just like most issues, there are problems at both sides of the weight spectrum, and no one number is perfect.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I could not love this post more. I'm also quite thin (as are my parents & sister) and I relate to this very much.
ReplyDelete